Category Archives: Facing Challenges Positively

Jul2

I’m Not Oprah

Posted on July 2, 2012 by daunaeasley

I’m Not Oprah

Clearly. I’m not Oprah so unfortunately not too many people will care what I think. There is no magazine or TV show with my name on it. But let’s talk about Oprah for just a second. In her magazine on the very last page she writes a feature every month titled ‘What I Know for Sure.’ She came up with the idea because someone on TV asked her that question, and she couldn’t formulate a good answer on the spot.

She found that the question, “What do you know for sure?’ really intrigued her and she reflected on it quite a bit. She decided she would use the last page of her magazine to answer that revealing question differently each month. She later confessed that she lived in minor fear of not being able to come up with a new idea each month; but I’m proud of her because she has stuck with it.

In case Oprah is reading this (stop laughing, it could happen) I’d like her to know that the last page is always the first page of her magazine that I read each month. It IS a wonderful question to answer. So….with a nod to Oprah…here are my answers.

What I Know for Sure

Wisdom comes only slowly. And frequently it can only be located at all by looking in the rear view mirror. I’m astonished…as the decades accumulate…how I can have a whole new vantage point and understanding of something that happened way in my past. Wisdom reveals itself when you least expect it. “Why did that have to happen?” becomes, “Oh, now I get it. If X hadn’t happened then Y would never have been an option.” The challenging part is waiting for the wisdom. It can’t be forced. Believe me I’ve tried to force it. A new understanding will just occur when you are ready to believe it.

Regrets usually come from the things I didn’t do. Over time mistakes dim. You take a risk. You fail. You recover and learn from it. But not stepping up to an opportunity, not even trying, that inaction becomes a regret. From my vantage point regrets hurt much more than mistakes.

Often the way people treat you has absolutely nothing to do with you. This is such an amazing lesson that I have to keep learning it every day. While it is true that if we treat people well, we also hope that they will value us, it isn’t always so. When people treat you badly, or talk behind your back, it often is a product of their own insecurities. They don’t feel good about themselves and can’t accept your good intentions. It frequently has nothing to do with you at all. I wish I could have understood this when I was much younger. OK I admit it, even today I have to continue to remind myself of this truth, even though I’ve reached the age our parents used to call “You’re old enough to know better.”

The amount of money a person earns does not determine their value. This seems obvious to a young person, but in our capitalistic culture it becomes fuzzy to us as we age. Especially in America where our value system is so skewed, we have to keep our personal definition of value separate from income. In this country we seem to worship celebrities and people who can kick, hit or dunk a ball. America gives a thumbs down to someone who is “just” a teacher, especially recently. Celebrities are assigned ghost writers so they can claim to be authors and plagiarize the talents of true designers to claim their own line of fashions. Reality TV has taken the word celebrity to a new lower level. The family most willing to publicly display their dysfunction becomes rich quickly. Income seems completely unrelated to value anymore. If we tie our personal worth to income, people of real value frequently lose self-respect.

The education you give yourself is more important than all the degrees you can accumulate. I’m a career teacher, so it is a little difficult to admit this. Earning a degree shows perseverance and an initial thirst for knowledge. However, if we allow learning to stop at age 22 or 35, we’ve missed the most valuable education of all. The real goal of earning a degree should be to make us become life long learners. I’ve learned a hundred times more from the books I’ve read than the degrees I’ve earned. A PhD doesn’t mean you are well-educated. Continually seeking knowledge throughout your life makes you well-educated. Nothing else does.

Messages that come from your parents early in life are the hardest to change. Even when you understand that, it is still hard to break the hold those messages have on you. I’ve been the recipient of both the positive and negative sides of that truth. My parents thought I was incredibly intelligent and frequently voiced this. I was in my thirties before I realized that I wasn’t as smart as my parents believed. But by then my confidence in my intelligence already had a firm hold on me. However, my father was hypercritical about women’s appearances and especially critical of weight. None of his three children will ever feel attractive as a result of those early messages.

We are all responsible for surrounding ourselves with a circle of people who are encouragers. To live life with some success we all need our own group of cheerleaders. We all know people who lift and people who discourage. We know blamers, doubters, dreamers, and winners. We have to be selective and surround ourselves with people who encourage us to take positive risks, and people who believe in our ability to soar. In our vulnerable moments we must turn to our encouragers and away from the naysayers. It can mean the difference between living the life we dream of or a life of mediocrity.

Thank you Oprah, for giving us your answers to this insightful question each month. But mostly thank you for challenging me to reflect on my OWN life. These are the things Dauna Easley has learned for sure…so far.

Jun24

The Comfort? Zone

Posted on June 24, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Learning from Students

Recently I had a pleasant lunch with a former student. This happens more frequently than you would imagine. I enjoy staying connected with former students to see how their lives are progressing.

Josh is a former high school student of mine who is now a college junior. He is an aspiring writer who has all the talents to make his goal a reality. He had recently attended a writing seminar that greatly motivated him and he wanted to share what he had learned with me. The conference premise was that our entire life is a story. If we give the way we live our lives the same thought and importance that we would use on a story we are writing, the world would become a better place. Donald Miller, the conference speaker, said. “The best way to change the world is to tell a good story with your life.”

This concept resonated with Josh and he chatted for maybe half an hour sharing what he had learned. Josh even brought me my own copy of the conference workbook because he knew this topic would intrigue me also. He was right. I’ve been working my way through the activities the workbook suggests.

It was during this lunch Josh told me about one of my classroom lessons that had also wormed its way into his psyche. These are the moments a teacher lives for. A golden nugget. A student recounts a classroom conversation that has really become a part of the way a student lives.

Let me share that classroom conversation/lesson with you.

What is Comfortable?

I start by asking students to list words or things that they think of when I say the word comfortable. They usually list items like slippers, robes or sweat pants. Some go in the direction of comfort foods and list hot chocolate, mashed potatoes, pizza or warm brownies. Others describe a place like a comfy chair, their bed or lying on the beach. Once they’re deep into the conversation about comfort I pose a new question. “Is comfort ever a bad thing?”

Most immediately say, “No.” I wait. One time after a long silence one teen girl finally spoke up and said, “Well there is that old boyfriend that you’ve dated for years. You break up and get back together over and over again. Deep down you know he’s not really right for you anymore, but you keep going back to him because he’s comfortable.”

Bingo.

As soon as one person breaks through others chime in with their own examples.

“You know the outfit doesn’t flatter you, but it’s comfortable.”

“You have a friend you’ve outgrown. That friend is making poor choices, but their friendship is comfortable.”

Once we get that conversation flowing, I tell them the bad news about the comfort zone. We think if we are comfortable all is well. But when we are completely comfortable we aren’t growing. For a while this feels okay. But eventually we learn that if we aren’t growing we aren’t really even standing still. Our world is shrinking. We stagnate. And that no longer feels good.

It’s important if we want to live fully, that we make a conscious effort to push outside our comfort zone. Is it easy? Not usually.

The Teacher Learns

I never went into a restaurant to eat alone until I became a professional speaker. I thought I’d be too self conscious…look too pathetic…eating alone. I had to push outside that discomfort. Now it’s possible for me to drive through the city to an airport, fly into another city I’ve never visited before, rent a car and using Mapquest or GPS, drive hours to a speech location. Once there I check into a hotel, go to a restaurant alone, sleep and then give a speech in front of thousands. Sometimes I venture from one state to another in a series before traveling home to my comfort zone again. Increasing the size of our comfort zone opens up a world of possibilities. Confession: What remains as my only crutch? I still need to carry a book into that restaurant and read as I eat alone.

We much teach young people AND remind ourselves about the perils of the comfort zone and encourage them to expand their own. If you’re too afraid to drive into the city, before you know it you’ll be avoiding the interstate. Next you’ll avoid high traffic times on the state routes. If you’re not careful to force yourself through the discomfort, you’ll find yourself giving up more and more activities that you may have enjoyed. Your freedom goes down the drain. Comfort, packaged attractively, may keep us from living the lives we want.

Thanks Josh, for taking that lesson in and living accordingly. And even greater thanks for telling your teacher that you remembered. It was always my goal while in the classroom to share lessons that would change people’s lives.

Jun17

What I’ve Learned from Blogging

Posted on June 17, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Celebrating My First 50 Blog Posts

The last blog post I wrote about Father’s Day was my 50th post! This is quite a celebration for me. Why? I was dragged into blogging kicking and screaming. “No way!” I’d holler when people told me how much I’d enjoy it.

The only thing I knew about the word blog was that it rhymed with fog. And I was OK with that. I loved to write but techie stuff bamboozled my brain. I wrote blogs for two months before I knew how to attach a picture. I couldn’t figure out how to edit, tag, or link. I just wrote. When people talked about SEO I thought they were talking about the president of a corporation. I just wrote. When they talked about engaging, I thought they were talking about getting married. Where was the diamond? I wanted to know.

What Blogging Has Taught Me So Far

Blogging is like any other adventure or challenge. Starting is the hardest part. Once you have started you can figure out the rest of the stuff as you go. Just write. I used to blog about the things I didn’t know how to do. “Help!” I’d say. I don’t know how to attach a picture. Someone would email me and tell me how. Some of my greatest encouragers even came to my house to show me how to do things.
The more I write, the more ideas I have for writing. The longer I go without writing, the harder it is for me to come up with ideas. Anytime an idea pops into my head now, I just capture it on a new post. I may only have a title but I’ll save a draft until I’m ready to go on.
I discovered I’m better at writing humor than I ever knew. A blog is a perfect place to write humor.
Brief writing is often better writing.
If you read blogs featured on Freshly Pressed, you’ll get better at blogging. When I started I honestly had no idea what blogging was. I faithfully looked over the blogs featured on Freshly Pressed. It showed me how to improve. One of my dreams is to be featured on that site. A gal can dream.

People from all over the world read my blog. Isn’t that a riot? I don’t even really understand how they know I’m writing. Like I say, some of the bigger mysteries of blogging elude me. But I did discover when I post in the middle of the night, people from Scotland and the Netherlands are in the middle of the day. One guy from the Netherlands commented on my blog. I said, “I see you are up in the middle of the night like me.” He said, “I’m in the Netherlands and it is the middle of the day. Your post popped up on a readomatic. I still don’t know what a readomatic is. I just keep writing.
Ironically while writing this blog, bragging about my new skills, I’ve encountered many challenges. For instance, it somehow automatically ‘published’ before I finished it. ?? I don’t know why. Perhaps I’ll figure out that mystery before I write my 75th blog.
I’ve learned that people who knew me well already knew I would enjoy blogging. They kept suggesting it to me. They were right. I was wrong. Bless the naggers in my life. You know who you are.
Blogging is fun. Take it from the Queen of Reluctance. Don’t fight it. Just write.

Jun8

I Can’t Stand this Woman

Posted on June 8, 2012 by daunaeasley

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She Has to Go

Seriously. I don’t like to be rude; but there is a woman in my life who has to go. Do you know a woman like this? Maybe we could form an un-fan club or something and brainstorm ways to get rid of these women. We could put them on a deserted island and let them annoy one another.

She pesters me enough, that if she were my neighbor I’d move across the country to avoid her. She never has anything nice to say about me. And of course she is always talking about me. She complains about my weight, my hair, my clothes, my face. Let’s be honest she doesn’t like the way I look at all.

But that is not the worst of it. She questions all of my abilities. Oh, how I hate it when she questions my abilities. According to her I can’t say or do anything just right. I’ve never beat up anyone. But this gal honestly deserves a punch.

POW!

I know it’s not nice to talk about people. But I’ve really had my fill of this gal so I’m gonna name names.

Her name is….drum roll please…. The Voice in My Head. You see why it is difficult to move away from her? She is my shadow critic. When I’m tired or discouraged she works overtime and her words become louder and louder until I almost can’t hear anything else. Even ear plugs won’t help because she rattles around inside my brain. But when I experience a success, she can yell and I can’t hear her. Oh, how I love those moments. When I’m with my friends, her words roll right off my back. I can even laugh at her and ridicule her opinion when something good happens. “Take that!” I say to her. I love it when I can prove her wrong. I do a little mental victory dance in front of her.

There are only two small things that I have learned from her. And please don’t give her any credit for these. She is too mean and negative to deserve credit of any kind! I give myself credit for learning these two things from the old meany.

I’ve learned how to say nice things to myself when she taunts me. Sometimes I even have to say them out loud. Sometimes I have to say those kind words over and over again. But that’s OK. I deserve those nice words. If I don’t say them she can paralyze me.
She has taught me how to recognize when other people are struggling with a negative voice in their heads. As a teacher, that has been a valuable tool to possess.

But Honestly, She Has Got to Go!

May2

Breakthrough: Change Something

Posted on May 2, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Change Something

After my public humiliation of admitting on my blog post that I had gained weight this month, I’ve been trying to think/act in a new way. What is there to learn about weight, dieting, exercise, blah, blah, de-blah, blah, blah, that I don’t already know?

Almost nothing. So sad, but true. I admitted at the onset of this battle that I believe the lion’s share of my struggle is mental. I know what to eat or not eat. I know to exercise. But I fall off the food wagon like a drunken pumpkin when it comes to staying the course for a long ride. BUT I have to just keep trying to beat this. I refuse to throw in the towel and let it beat me again.

Swallowing Pride

So as I worked out this morning I stewed about it. My local Curves owner, Mindy, is someone I admire for lots of reasons. She is upbeat every morning. The way she leads her Zumba class, I think she has some kind of an extra hinge in her mid section or something. Maybe her pelvic bone is double jointed. Is that possible? Her gym shoes and socks always coordinate with her clothes. (I work out in a black man’s t-shirt every day).

Those are all impressive qualities, but they aren’t the BIG reasons I admire her. I heard from someone else (not her) that she has lost 100 pounds. She has two sons in college so she isn’t a twenty-something-lost-weight-once-expert. Even more a mystery to me, she lost this significant weight in stages. She would lose 20 – 30 pounds and then maintain it for quite a while. Then she would decide to tackle another 20. It took her maybe a decade, but she did it a chunk at a time. Maintaining is the big mystery word to me. I can gain. Wow, can I gain. I can lose. Honestly, I can lose. I find it easier to eat nothing than to eat reasonably.

But I am the original yo-yo mama when it comes to the scales.

This morning I waited until she was alone and asked her how in the world she was able to maintain her weight on the way down, as she plateaued several times. I confessed my inability to maintain. We talked for maybe ten minutes. She gave me several nuggets to take away. I needed her encouragement and conversation today. Was it anything earth shatteringly new? Probably not. But each time someone tells us something, we are capable of hearing it in a different way. Here are some of the things she said.

Each time she determined to lose her next hunk of weight she had to try something new. One time she lost weight with those old Jane Fonda videos.
She asked if I was drinking lots of water. I admitted I had done that back in January and February, but gradually had stopped doing that routinely.
She suggested this week my goal would be to start drinking the water again. I’ve started that today.
She said try to add in one change per week.
Next week keep drinking the water, and work out on the machines differently. She suggested how to do that.
Maybe the following week add in a walk each day…even if it is for only 10 minutes.
She restated, “Just change something.” Every time she dieted and exercised herself down another 20 pounds she did it a little bit differently.
I’ve fought weight enough to see the truth and sense of this in my own life. It’s like our body becomes immune to our efforts and we have to rethink how to trick it into doing what we want it to do all over again.

I realize none of this is earth shattering. However, it was just what I needed today to get going again. A hook to hang my hope on. It helped me so I thought it might help you too. Who was it that said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing what we’ve always done and expect to get different results? My two words for this week are…

Change Something !!

May1

Breakthrough

Posted on May 1, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Breakthrough

My loyal followers (bless you) know that I have dedicated this year of 2012 to breakthrough hurdles in three important areas of my life. Those areas are 1. Technology phobia. 2. Exercise 3. Significant weight loss

All of these are areas in which I have had marginal success in the past. However, significant breakthrough success has eluded me. First let me say I can tell that I have hit a nerve when I publish about this struggle. Why? Because on the last day of each month the ‘hits’ on my blog site jump way up whether I have published anything or not. I know all of us struggle with particular issues that seem to beat us over and over again no matter what our initial commitment. I know you are rooting for me.

Some Good News

First let me talk about successes this month

My ebook and the print book version of Caregiving Elderly Parents have both been published and are available on Amazon.com. Hooray!
Testimonials are starting to roll in.
My co-author, Marky Olson, and I are so proud of the way this book will help and encourage others.
This accomplishment required me to continually breakthrough my technology phobia.
I have learned about formatting for ebooks, blogging, rudiments of facebook, using drop box, attending webinars, using Search Engine Optimization, and countless other techie skills.
I’m very close to publishing my second book and ebook for teachers.

Breakdowns in Breakthroughs

I HATE to Admit this Publicly

But

Oh, how I am struggling in the other two areas of exercise and weight loss. The worst news is that I have actually gained weight this month. Yep. There it is. Right out there. Why did I think this was a good idea to promise monthly updates? Why did I want to make this battle so public when I have failed so many times before? Temporary insanity is all I can figure.

My exercise commitment was also down this month. In the past three months I was exercising a minimum of 20 times per month/5 days per week. This month I only exercised 11 times. Funny how that weight thing and that exercise thing go together. No. I don’t believe it is because exercise causes me to burn that many calories. I think it’s more an issue of when one thing breaks down, I’m just so tempted to throw in the towel on both. I have such an all-or-nothing personality. I have fought that tendency all my life.

Back to Good News

Yep. There is some good news. I’m re-committing myself to my original breakthrough mentality. I refuse to give in!

Yes! It will be harder.
Yes, now I have to recover ground I’ve already lost.
BUT….and this is a big BUT….I know if I don’t do this now, what the outcome will be.
I also know exactly why I gained weight. It was no mystery. I ate too much and the wrong things.
I either recommit right now or face long-term failure…again. Unfortunately in the case of weight and exercise…this is a past habit I MUST breakthrough.
I’m asking you to hang in there with me for one more month. Surely I’d be too embarrassed to admit another breakdown.
Pray. Cheer. Encourage. Hope. Cross your fingers. Think positive thoughts. Send me an encouraging comment. Please.
I REFUSE to let this beat me again.
REFUSE !
Someday I want to get an author’s photo taken to put on these books I’m writing. (But not yet)

Apr27

Celebrate

Posted on April 27, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Celebrate

Today is a celebration. My finished book written with co-author Marky Olson is now officially on Amazon.com. Hooray! I have written one book (Teachers Touch Eternity) previously, but have never had a book marketed through Amazon. I’m excited about the possibilities of people being able to access the book worldwide. It is offered in print format and also as an ebook.

The title of the book is Caregiving Elderly Parents. It is a book of personal stories about helping our elderly parents through the aging process. My co-author, Marky, is a long time friend who lives two thousand miles away in Seattle. We have written the entire book collaborating through phone conferences and webinars. I’ve never written with a partner before and found the experience quite wonderful. Marky and I took turns encouraging one another. We bounced ideas around until we came up with a format which we believe will be a wonderful benefit to all readers.

We discovered that all four of our parents faced the challenges of aging in different ways. We appoached each aspect of aging with personal stories so that I believe the final product is infomative, inspiring, encouraging and even entertaining. I’m including a link to my other blog site which provides a way to link to Amazon to see the book and ebook version. The ebook version will also soon be available for nook and ipads. I hope you’ll take a look at it and recommend it to your friends. http://caregivingelderlyparents.com/

Setting Goals

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I possess quite a bit of initiative. I’m a goal setter. I’m a self starter who won’t quit. I can break down the steps to a goal. I am more than willing to climb those steps one at a time. No one has to encourage me. I make my list, sometimes with a timeline and I’m completely self-driven.

However, I’m guilty of a big mistake. I don’t celebrate when I achieve an accomplishment. Isn’t that something of a sad admission? But it’s true. I’m a worker bee. Every day I have a list. My list today includes ten pretty ambitious items. Writing this blog is only one of them today. But then when I accomplish something big…like actually seeing my book complete and listed on Amazon, I’m too frequently just right onto the next task.

So today I’m asking all of you to celebrate with me. Make me party a little. Pop a cork! Blow up balloons. Throw some confetti. Jump up and down. Your blog friend, Dauna Easley, has a book on Amazon.com. Yippee !! Woo-hoo !! We did it !!

Apr9

Baseball: The Game of Life

Posted on April 9, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Baseball Mirrors Life

Road trip! Is there anything better? I love to just get in my car and drive out-of-town for a few days. But…

Yes! There is something better than just a road trip. You can have the opportunity to take a road trip to beautiful Tennessee in the spring. Green rolling hills and blooming trees will treat your eyes. Flowers everywhere and southern hospitality abound.

But it gets even better than that. My road trip involved watching my grandson play baseball with his high school team. My car included a granddaughter who was a great companion as we spent more than ten hours on the road together. Bliss.

Life is a Baseball Game

Sometime during this wonderful three days of watching an exciting baseball tournament, it occurred to me how much baseball mirrors our lives. In fact, our lives, if we live them fully, have all the elements of the great American pastime.

How so? In every life there are those times we are forced to sit the bench. It’s frustrating. We’re aching to get in the game. Can’t ‘they’ see our talents? We want to play, but for a while our role is to sit the bench and cheer the team on.

That happens in life too. We see a position we want, but someone else is chosen for the job. It hurts. What’s important about bench time is our attitude. Do we spend time preparing for our next opportunity? Are we watching the game to check out the pitches? In the work place are we checking out the climate and learning how to become more effective? Or are we just sulking and having a pity party? If we’re honest with ourselves, I think we’d have to admit, that we’ve all done a little bit of both.

In the Batter’s Box

Finally, we get our chance. Someone gives us a nod and we step up to it. Is there any place more frightening than the batter’s box? There you are, all alone, every eye in the stadium is focused on you. Half are cheering, the other half jeering. The batter’s box is fraught with opportunity and humiliation in equal parts. You’re armed with nothing but a stick, your confidence, and preparation.

Life is the same. We train and wait our turn. When our chance comes it always takes a lot of courage to step up to the plate. It’s one thing to think and even boast that we have the skills. It’s quite another to step up and make decisions, take the reins, and hope your ideas will work. Always there will be people wishing you success but others waiting and ready to point out your shortcomings. The only ‘safe’ place is the bench. But we’ve been on the bench and it doesn’t feel good there.

In the batter’s box we have to DO something. Sure we can wait and hope the pitch will be off target and the umpire will actually see the miss and call it a ball. But nothing is worse than standing there and having the guy behind the plate call it a strike. Nothing is worse than a missed opportunity. If you swing and miss, sure everyone will know you tried and failed. But if you don’t swing, they’ll know you didn’t even try. What is worse than not even having the guts to try?

Is there anyone who can look back on life and not recognize and regret a missed opportunity? Not me. In retrospect, they glare at you. Yes, swinging and missing is embarrassing. But only not swinging at all is humiliating. Long lives teach you that.

I have two granddaughters who tried out for something once and didn’t get picked. They swear they will never try out again. That’s when parents and grandparents have to become coaches and help them understand the honor and possibilities of taking risks. We have to explain that growth and triumphs only follow failures and the courage to try again. They won’t believe you the first time. Be willing to share stories of your failures and watch them grin as you sprinkle a little courage back into them.

Nine innings of baseball mimics most of life. You hit a foul ball? It’s the opportunity to adjust and try again. You’re off course, but still in the game. The pitch hits you? Ouch. But it works in favor of the team.

An injury takes you out of the game? At some point life will do the same to you. You’ll lose a job unfairly. Someone you love will disappear. It’s what we do after the heartbreak that reveals who we really are. We can become an inspiration to all as we fight our way back. Only people who have been through tough situations can inspire others. We can return better than ever. Or we can find a better job or someone to love who is more loyal. A chunk of coal becomes a diamond only under pressure.

But in almost every game there are the opportunities for greatness. Someone on the other team hits a ball no one expects anyone to catch. Even you know it is way too high or too far to retrieve, but you run all out and jump and stretch as far as you can and then feel it in your glove. It’s your ESPN moment.

Life gives all of us ESPN opportunities, but we won’t get there without stretching. Life is hard work. You have to pursue something even when it seems an impossibility.

My parents always told me I was going to college. But when the time came the money wasn’t there. I was very aware my mom could borrow money (which I would pay back) for only two years of college. Even this was a sacrifice for my mom who was earning a secretary’s pay and would be paying the interest on the loan for those two years. But I wanted to teach which required a four-year degree. What were my choices? I earned a four-year degree in two years. The question always becomes, “How much do you want it?”

Baseball IS Life

Finally it all comes together. The months of practice before and after school click. Your bat hits the ball in the sweet spot and as you hear the contact you know it has the possibility to go over the wall. Even if it doesn’t soar out of the park, it will give your teammates who are standing on base the chance to score. You are a contributor. You’ve made a difference. You… in that moment… understand that all the self discipline served a purpose.

Life is the same. The harder we work the greater our chances of success. The more setbacks we overcome, the more we grow into and stronger than our next challenge. And believe me, in life, challenges are always coming. We have to be courageous enough to take the risk of failure to accomplish great things.

Good luck, Lakota East Thunderhawks! Your fans will be cheering you on from the sidelines.

Apr1

Breakthrough Update

Posted on April 1, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Breakthrough

Update for March

Loyal readers (thank you!) are aware that I have made a resolution to make 2012 a year in which I actually confront some of the areas in my life which have been evading long term success.

Sure, I’ve made many attempts on them before, and some minor progress, but they still stymied me. Progress has always been slight or when progress was great in these areas, an almost immediate downward spiral would follow.

My three areas of long term concern are technology phobia, much needed significant weight loss, and a regular exercise regimen. These are three VERY challenging issues for me. Many days I think I was nuts to try and tackle all three at the same time.

What was even more reckless? I decided to make this battle public (well at least to my blog world). What was I thinking when I made this decision? A confession. Lots of times I have wished I had kept my big mouth shut and my fingers off the keyboard. BUT now a second confession. Putting these goals “out there” into cyberland has forced me to make better choices for myself in some of my darker moments. In other words, I’ve behaved better because I knew I would have to confess my setbacks to people who are listening in and hopefully cheering me on.

March Progress Report

Exercise

This has been consistently the area in which I believe I have made the greatest progress. Yay me!

I’m working out 5 to 6 days a week.
I love going to my local Curves work out facility. I enjoy the people there. I don’t dread it.
I’m a morning person and I go first thing in the morning. When they open I am there.
When they open later in the mid-morning, I’m generally already doing something else.

I have more energy and stamina. Muscles are slowly appearing. My body is gradually changing. My breathing and stamina are much improved. I feel better all day long every time I exercise.

Weight Loss

This is consistently my most challenging area.

Last month I had hit a plateau and since I wasn’t losing I felt myself eating a little more using the thought rationale, “I’m not losing anyway. What the heck!”
Only ten days ago I was still stuck in the same spot. Because I knew my ‘report date’ loomed, I stopped eating.
I’ve cut too far back and I know it.
The good news is, I’ve broken through the plateau.
The bad news is I know that will shut my metabolism down and I will cease to lose weight.
I know that is not optimum. However, for right now if feels like a relief to breakthrough a plateau.
I think I admitted early in my confessions that it is easier for me to not eat, than to eat reasonably. Many overeaters won’t understand that, but that has always been the case with me.
That is a sad commentary, but is probably true of anyone fighting an addiction.
I haven’t talk actual pounds, because I don’t want to share that yet. But someday I will. The number of pounds I want to lose seems overwhelming to me.
One more thing. Yesterday was my birthday. I was under control food wise all day. Then at about 8:00 pm I started feeling sorry for myself that I hadn’t had birthday cake. Cake is not something I crave. Even when I have cake it is all about the icing for me. I wasn’t hungry but I was pretty crazed about cake until after 11:00 pm. Kept thinking I would go out and buy myself something sweet. But I resisted it. It took more effort than I care to admit to not go for a late night run to the store.

Technology Progress

This is an area in which I continue to feel weak. But I am definitely making strides.

I have completed an ebook with a writing partner. Every step of the way I have been forced to step up to technology challenges that frightened me.
Just this weekend I had to download and edit an epub file. I had to call for help. But I was able to mauever through the explanation and complete the task.
My internet server also went down yesterday. I spent hours on the phone trying to get it fixed. But I did it all by myself.
I will soon publish my second ebook. It will be a valuable book for teachers and future teachers. I’ve had parts of it in my computer for years, but was frightened of stepping up to the publishing process. My improved (but still limited) understanding of the technology process has helped give me the courage to take that step.
My writing partner is encouraging me to understand each step I take using technology instead of just memorizing the steps of the process. She has me “teach’ my understanding of the steps back to her. That helps. We can’t teach something unless we understand it somewhat.
We have written this entire ebook living two thousand miles apart. We’ve used email, conference calls, webinars,dropbox, ebook publishers and much more.
Here’s a confession. In November, when I started writing a blog, I had never even read a single blog post.
Now I’m on facebook, write two blogs and am finishing the writing on my second ebook.
I give myself a gold star in this category.

Sorry I didn’t post my progress on the last day of the month. My internet break down was preventing my breakthrough update. 😉

Mar26

You Can Do It!

Posted on March 26, 2012 by daunaeasley

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How to Talk to Teens

Have you ever tried to talk to an apathetic teen? I have. It is sometimes quite maddening. Once they are feeling down they will put up all kinds of barriers. They seem to dare you to try to make them feel good.

One of their favorite words is, “Whatever.” It means, “Whatever you say or do doesn’t get through to me. You can talk all you want, but you can’t breakthrough to me.”

It makes you feel like those old Charlie Brown TV shows. You could see the teacher talking in the background, but all Charlie Brown could hear was, “Mwah, mwah, mwah.” When they are in that ‘whatever’ mode they seem to be deaf to encouragement.

Whatever

But having taught teens for decades I have my own rules for ‘whatever’. My rules go like this.

Whatever you do, don’t stop talking to them. They may appear deaf, but they are not. The world has turned them upside down temporarily, and they are reaching for help. When they appear the most deaf, the most uninterested in what you have to say, is exactly the moment they need you the most.

They can’t let you know your words are helping. It’s some kind of teen honor code or something. But don’t be fooled; they need your words. Much later they may be able to tell you how much your words meant to them. Or maybe not. But I’ve worked with teens for decades and I am telling you whatever you do, don’t stop talking. Here is exactly what to say.

“I’ve been thinking about you.” Tell them specifically when you were thinking about them. When you were in the car? While you were grocery shopping? During a meeting? Tell them the details about when you were thinking about them. They need to know that you think about them when you are not with them. They want to know they matter to you. It’s true for their parents. It’s true for their teachers.

Then say, “It seems like something is on your mind.” or “It seems like something is going on in your life.” “I’ve been noticing you’ve been extra quiet. I want you to know that I am always here for you. You can always talk to me about anything. But if you don’t want to talk about it yet, I respect your privacy. Just know that I’m here for you.”

Caution. If they have shared something with you in the past and you have gone cuckoo about it, they won’t share again. It is always best to under react to keep the lines of communications open. Teens have told me things that would curl the toes of the devil himself, but no matter how I’m feeling inside I always under react to an initial revelation. Later when the situation has improved or changed I might let them know how worried or bothered I was for them. But I NEVER allow my initial shock to show, so they will feel comfortable approaching me in the future.

Dauna Easley’s Whatevers

Here are my own ‘whatever’ messages I want teens to learn from me.

Whatever life hands you, you can handle it. Life is a roller coaster filled with ups and downs but you are equipped to hang on and triumph.
Whatever happens, you are creative enough to respond to it. If you lose a job, you can find or create a new profession with your talents.
If a new opportunity presents itself, you can do it.
Whatever challenges come your way you have the perseverance to overcome them.
You are strong. You are talented. You are capable. I believe in you. You can handle WHATEVER comes across your path.
I’ve been thinking about you; and I know you can succeed whatever comes your way.