When Breakthrough Breaks Down
So what happens when you go public with three habits that have consistently beaten you for years? I can answer that question. In fact I’m an expert on the answer to that question.
First comes a surge of success shored up with determination and resolve. BIG progress is made. You are filled with pride and one burning question. Why didn’t I do this sooner? It is so easy once you simply commit yourself. Why didn’t I make this public sooner? I will inspire everyone. I am Super Woman! Watch me soar! I will be a role model for the world. Everyone will see that I can do this. Then they will conquer all their bad habits and overcome all their fears.
It takes a few months for the backward spiral to begin to eat away at your best intentions. Then comes lots of self recriminations followed by a pretty large dose of self loathing. It is all wrapped untidily in doubt and topped with a big bow of guilt. You scramble to hang in there. Your fingernails are ripping as you try hard to hang on. This is no longer just a personal failure. I HAVE FAILED THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Oh how I wish IHKMBMS. I’m at that age when it is difficult to keep all the texting acronyms straight. And let’s be honest, I just made that one up. So in fairness I will let you in on what it stands for. “Oh I wish I had kept my big mouth shut.” Perhaps now I will. Maybe that is the big lesson in this whole venture. Right now I doubt if I can even keep that resolution…the one about keeping my big mouth shut, I mean. But I’m gonna try. These days that is all I can promise.
My loyal followers (bless you) know that I have dedicated this year of 2012 to breakthrough hurdles in three important areas of my life. Those areas are 1. Technology phobia. 2. Exercise 3. Significant weight loss
All of these are areas in which I have had marginal success in the past. However, significant breakthrough success has eluded me. First let me say I can tell that I have hit a nerve when I publish about this struggle. Why? Because on the last day of each month the ‘hits’ on my blog site jump way up whether I have published anything or not. I know all of us struggle with particular issues that seem to beat us over and over again no matter what our initial commitment. I know you are rooting for me.
Some Good News
First let me talk about successes this month
My ebook and the print book version of Caregiving Elderly Parents have both been published and are available on Amazon.com. Hooray!
Testimonials are starting to roll in.
My co-author, Marky Olson, and I are so proud of the way this book will help and encourage others.
This accomplishment required me to continually breakthrough my technology phobia.
I have learned about formatting for ebooks, blogging, rudiments of facebook, using drop box, attending webinars, using Search Engine Optimization, and countless other techie skills.
I’m very close to publishing my second book and ebook for teachers.
Breakdowns in Breakthroughs
I HATE to Admit this Publicly
Oh, how I am struggling in the other two areas of exercise and weight loss. The worst news is that I have actually gained weight this month. Yep. There it is. Right out there. Why did I think this was a good idea to promise monthly updates? Why did I want to make this battle so public when I have failed so many times before? Temporary insanity is all I can figure.
My exercise commitment was also down this month. In the past three months I was exercising a minimum of 20 times per month/5 days per week. This month I only exercised 11 times. Funny how that weight thing and that exercise thing go together. No. I don’t believe it is because exercise causes me to burn that many calories. I think it’s more an issue of when one thing breaks down, I’m just so tempted to throw in the towel on both. I have such an all-or-nothing personality. I have fought that tendency all my life.
Back to Good News
Yep. There is some good news. I’m re-committing myself to my original breakthrough mentality. I refuse to give in!
- Yes! It will be harder.
- Yes, now I have to recover ground I’ve already lost.
- BUT….and this is a big BUT….I know if I don’t do this now, what the outcome will be.
- I also know exactly why I gained weight. It was no mystery. I ate too much and the wrong things.
- I either recommit right now or face long-term failure…again. Unfortunately in the case of weight and exercise…this is a past habit I MUST breakthrough.
- I’m asking you to hang in there with me for one more month. Surely I’d be too embarrassed to admit another breakdown.
- Pray. Cheer. Encourage. Hope. Cross your fingers. Think positive thoughts. Send me an encouraging comment. Please.
- I REFUSE to let this beat me again.
- REFUSE !
- Someday I want to get an author’s photo taken to put on these books I’m writing. (But not yet)
2012 Breakthrough Year
- Progress for January
Updates on My Promise to Breakthrough
At New Years I promised to try MY BEST to breakthrough to new levels on three issues. These three are issues which have had me stymied for years. In the past I have had small gains but continual backsliding in these three categories that seem to elude long-term success for me. Maybe you have issues that have constantly challenged you for a period of years.
Confronting all three at once determined to breakthrough to much greater success has been sometimes painful and often frustrating. Once or twice I have felt proud and in control. Then the challenge gets difficult once again.
Here are my three areas which have presented me decades of challenges, my renewed intentions, and my January progress.
What have I discovered? It it impossible to overstate how much better I feel. Everyday as soon as I work out, I feel better all day long. My flexibility is better. My sleep patterns have improved. I even see an improvement in the achilles tendonitis that has plagued me this year. A side bonus is that I enjoy the socialization at the work out facility. We talk about books, movies and life challenges. We laugh and share info as we work out.
Gaining Computer Skills
I’ve been attending computer coaching webinars. I have probably attended six to eight this month. Today was the first time I didn’t want to cry at the end of a webinar. Not only do I not understand the explanations, I don’t even understand the questions other participants ask. But I continue to force myself to attend.
I’m also watching crash course online videos on creating a blog. I like this format better, because I can pause the videos at will and I can replay them again and again. The repetition helps me.
What have I learned? I hate to say that I’m never going to be quick to absorb computer skills, but right now it feels like the truth. However, I think I have made some amazing progress. I’m blogging though posting pictures still frustrates me. I signed up for a facebook page and an author’s page on facebook. Those pages don’t look great. I’ve been using these sites sparingly. I can’t seem to post the jpeg cover of my book on my author’s page. I think I have to admit that I’m going to have to work harder than most to acquire the computer skills I need. But technology is the way of the world and I’ll continue to work at this. Remember my goal is to breakthrough my tendency to avoid technology instruction because I find it so challenging.
Significant Weight Loss
In the past my resolutions or other weight loss attempts go along well for a while, but I never even come close to the number of pounds I want and need to lose for health and improved self esteem.
I am exercising regularly.
I have not joined a specific weight loss program. I have done this so many times in the past with a variety of results, but never a permanent solution to the issue.
I have simply cut way back on my portions. I actually started this on Dec. 7th, not Jan. 1. I had great weight loss in the first weeks. The weight loss is naturally slowing down. This is when the resolve to breakthrough gets more challenging.
What have I learned? My past experiences told me that this would be my greatest breakthrough challenge. I want it to be easier. It isn’t. I’m trying to focus on overall progress. In the past when I ate something I shouldn’t, I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. One of my problems in this area is that I’m such an ‘all or nothing’ gal. I can be on a strict diet or bingeing much more easily than I can eat reasonably over an extended period of time. I have felt my resolve faltering in the past week. I want to recommit to this long-term breakthrough goal for the month of February. I want to be as strong in my resolve as I was a few weeks ago.
More updates on my commitments to breakthrough at the end of February. How are you doing? Have you had a breakthrough on any long-term challenges? Send me a comment.