She Has to Go
Seriously. I don’t like to be rude; but there is a woman in my life who has to go. Do you know a woman like this? Maybe we could form an un-fan club or something and brainstorm ways to get rid of these women. We could put them on a deserted island and let them annoy one another.
She pesters me enough, that if she were my neighbor I’d move across the country to avoid her. She never has anything nice to say about me. And of course she is always talking about me. She complains about my weight, my hair, my clothes, my face. Let’s be honest she doesn’t like the way I look at all.
But that is not the worst of it. She questions all of my abilities. Oh, how I hate it when she questions my abilities. According to her I can’t say or do anything just right. I’ve never beat up anyone. But this gal honestly deserves a punch.
I know it’s not nice to talk about people. But I’ve really had my fill of this gal so I’m gonna name names.
Her name is….drum roll please…. The Voice in My Head. You see why it is difficult to move away from her? She is my shadow critic. When I’m tired or discouraged she works overtime and her words become louder and louder until I almost can’t hear anything else. Even ear plugs won’t help because she rattles around inside my brain. But when I experience a success, she can yell and I can’t hear her. Oh, how I love those moments. When I’m with my friends, her words roll right off my back. I can even laugh at her and ridicule her opinion when something good happens. “Take that!” I say to her. I love it when I can prove her wrong. I do a little mental victory dance in front of her.
There are only two small things that I have learned from her. And please don’t give her any credit for these. She is too mean and negative to deserve credit of any kind! I give myself credit for learning these two things from the old meany.
- I’ve learned how to say nice things to myself when she taunts me. Sometimes I even have to say them out loud. Sometimes I have to say those kind words over and over again. But that’s OK. I deserve those nice words. If I don’t say them she can paralyze me.
- She has taught me how to recognize when other people are struggling with a negative voice in their heads. As a teacher, that has been a valuable tool to possess.