Tag Archives: teach

Jun24

The Comfort? Zone

Posted on June 24, 2012 by daunaeasley

Learning from Students

Recently I had a pleasant lunch with a former student. This happens more frequently than you would imagine. I enjoy staying connected with former students to see how their lives are progressing.

Josh is a former high school student of mine who is now a college junior. He is an aspiring writer who has all the talents to make his goal a reality. He had recently attended a writing seminar that greatly motivated him and he wanted to share what he had learned with me. The conference premise was that our entire life is a story. If we give the way we live our lives the same thought and importance that we would use on a story we are writing, the world would become a better place. Donald Miller, the conference speaker, said. “The best way to change the world is to tell a good story with your life.”

This concept resonated with Josh and he chatted for maybe half an hour sharing what he had learned. Josh even brought me my own copy of the conference workbook because he knew this topic would intrigue me also. He was right. I’ve been working my way through the activities the workbook suggests.

It was during this lunch Josh told me about one of my classroom lessons that had also wormed its way into his psyche. These are the moments a teacher lives for. A golden nugget. A student recounts a classroom conversation that has really become a part of the way a student lives.

Let me share that classroom conversation/lesson with you.

What is Comfortable?

I start by asking students to list words or things that they think of when I say the word comfortable. They usually list items like slippers, robes or sweat pants. Some go in the direction of comfort foods and list hot chocolate, mashed potatoes, pizza or warm brownies. Others describe a place like a comfy chair, their bed or lying on the beach. Once they’re deep into the conversation about comfort I pose a new question. “Is comfort ever a bad thing?”

Most immediately say, “No.” I wait. One time after a long silence one teen girl finally spoke up and said, “Well there is that old boyfriend that you’ve dated for years. You break up and get back together over and over again. Deep down you know he’s not really right for you anymore, but you keep going back to him because he’s comfortable.”

Bingo.

As soon as one person breaks through others chime in with their own examples.

“You know the outfit doesn’t flatter you, but it’s comfortable.”

“You have a friend you’ve outgrown. That friend is making poor choices, but their friendship is comfortable.”

Once we get that conversation flowing, I tell them the bad news about the comfort zone. We think if we are comfortable all is well. But when we are completely comfortable we aren’t growing. For a while this feels okay. But eventually we learn that if we aren’t growing we aren’t really even standing still. Our world is shrinking. We stagnate. And that no longer feels good.

It’s important if we want to live fully, that we make a conscious effort to push outside our comfort zone. Is it easy? Not usually.

The Teacher Learns

I never went into a restaurant to eat alone until I became a professional speaker. I thought I’d be too self conscious…look too pathetic…eating alone. I had to push outside that discomfort. Now it’s possible for me to drive through the city to an airport, fly into another city I’ve never visited before, rent a car and using Mapquest or GPS, drive hours to a speech location. Once there I check into a hotel, go to a restaurant alone, sleep and then give a speech in front of thousands. Sometimes I venture from one state to another in a series before traveling home to my comfort zone again. Increasing the size of our comfort zone opens up a world of possibilities. Confession: What remains as my only crutch? I still need to carry a book into that restaurant and read as I eat alone.

We much teach young people AND remind ourselves about the perils of the comfort zone and encourage them to expand their own. If you’re too afraid to drive into the city, before you know it you’ll be avoiding the interstate. Next you’ll avoid high traffic times on the state routes. If you’re not careful to force yourself through the discomfort, you’ll find yourself giving up more and more activities that you may have enjoyed. Your freedom goes down the drain. Comfort, packaged attractively, may keep us from living the lives we want.

Thanks Josh, for taking that lesson in and living accordingly. And even greater thanks for telling your teacher that you remembered. It was always my goal while in the classroom to share lessons that would change people’s lives.

May21

Don’t Ever Do This

Posted on May 21, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Bad Idea

I was a teacher for decades. So I know a bad idea when I hear one. As bad ideas go, this one was a whopper. My high school students were brainstorming trying to come up with a fun activity for one of our Future Educators Association meetings. Everything I suggested was rejected. They wanted something new and exciting. I thought my ideas were creative. They looked at me like I was twice baked boredom in a casserole dish.

“I know,” said one of them, “Let’s have a paint fight!”

“Wrong!” I proclaimed loudly as they cheered right over the top of my voice. “BAD idea!” I repeated even more loudly when their cheering died down. They begged. They pleaded. They gave me rationale after rationale. I rejected every plea and promise they made. I wasn’t born yesterday. I talked about safety, the mess, the pandemonium, the lunacy, the clean up and the liability. I was eloquent.

Eventually they gave up. NOT! This argument and plea bargaining went on for months. On and on they argued. I said we couldn’t possibly do it at school. They said we could go to a park. I pointed out what the park personnel would think about us messing up their property and the court case that would follow. I talked about how it would ruin their clothes. They claimed we could make paint shirts. I said that would be fine. They said, “But only if we are wearing the shirts when we throw the paint to make them.” NO! Back to square one. This argument became the theme for the year.

After months of debate two things finally happened. They came up with an answer to every objection and I totally lost my mind…simultaneously. The end of the school year arrived. Some crazy wonderful parents volunteered their home which had a large empty field behind it. They had a power sprayer for clean up and then a pool for further cool off and a grill for cooking a picnic while the shirts dried. The plan was on. We all purchased black t-shirts. Each student was to bring in two or three colors of paint in plastic bottles. The brighter the better. It was a neon kind of a day.

The attendance? You guessed it. 100%!

The smartest girl of the day was Erica. She showed up with wearing swim goggles. Why didn’t I think of that? Don’t EVER try this activity without requiring goggles. I can’t claim that I was smart enough to outlaw this event. BUT I was smart enough to clip my shirt to the clothes line and tell them to decorate it as it hung on the line. Meanwhile I stood close to the pool and told them that NO PAINT could enter the pool area. I gave them a half-dozen rules which they promptly ignored and yelled, “GO!”

There was laughing, screaming, running, pandemonium and the biggest mess you ever saw in the vacant field. Two wonderful parents stayed patient and laughed through all of this. They spent forever spraying them off with the power washer. Some students had to even use their indoor showers to keep the paint from coloring their hair permanently. Results? No one was hurt. It is a favorite memory of everyone including me.

Every time I paint anything I grin as I wear my crazy paint shirt souvenir of that day. My grandkids always admire my shirt. They want one just like it. I’ve already bought the black shirts. Guess what I’m going to do with my grandkids on the first day of summer vacation? But NO they won’t be wearing the shirts when they splatter the paint. A gal can only take one adventure with that much insanity.

May14

Moments Matter

Posted on May 14, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Making the Most of Moments

I’ve heard it said that we don’t remember days, we remember moments. As I think back over my own life I believe that’s true. The good news is moments take less time than elaborate events and time is a commodity most of us have in short supply. Most moments that mean much to us simply evolve spontaneously. But as we build a life of value, embracing the moments when they happen means a great deal.

I remember one significant moment in my life that didn’t even involve a single word. My youngest daughter, Kelsey endured two long battles with cancer. During her second battle in her teen years while I drove her to the hospital for treatments, I knew she was uptight about all that would transpire, though she never would verbalize her fears.

I fell into the habit of putting my hand on her knee as we drove to the hospital. One time as we drove there I was lost in my own silent thoughts of dread and I didn’t put my hand on her knee. After a while she quietly picked up my hand and placed it on her knee. No words at all. But we were then connected. She was telling me she was scared but didn’t want to talk about it. She was telling me that she needed me present with her. It was a moment I will never forget.

Another lighter moment happened in my classroom as I was preparing my teen students to go on a trip out-of-town for an educational conference. I spoke to them seriously about our upcoming stay in a hotel. No one was ever to be in the hotel hallway alone.

“Even if you are just going for a bucket of ice, you must have a partner with you,” I warned. “Never talk to strangers or enter the room of someone you’ve just met no matter how nice they seem.” I continued sternly. The atmosphere was very sober as I wanted it to be.

At precisely that moment there was a knock on my classroom door. A man wearing the uniform of the technology department whom I had never seen before, was looking for the room which housed the media brain of our building. That particular door is somewhat hidden. You must pass through another room that has no posted room number in order to find it. I tried to describe the process to him, but he was still confused. I stepped outside my classroom, walked a few feet down the hall, opened the unmarked door and escorted him inside to point out the door he was trying to find. I was back in my classroom in seconds.

One of my female students with a gleam in her eye said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Easley. Didn’t we just see you leave your friends and go into a room with a strange man who you didn’t even know?” I tried to stay serious but the whole classroom dissolved into laughter. What followed was an out-and-out giggle fit that went on and on. Every time I tried to get the class back on track someone would start laughing again, usually me.

It was a spontaneous moment that none of us will ever forget. I’m sure long after I’m dead and buried if those students get together to talk about old times, one of them will say, “Do you remember the time Mrs. Easley left the class and went off with a strange man?” And they’ll laugh again.

What makes me proud? I was “present” in those moments. I connected with Kelsey’s message when she needed me. And I collapsed in laughter when that was the only response needed. I embraced the moments. That’s why those moments will live forever.

This is an excerpt taken from my upcoming book: Teach To Change Lives

Nov21

Choosing Kindness

Posted on November 21, 2011 by daunaeasley

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One of my all time favorite quotes comes from the book Between Teacher and Child written by Dr. Haim Ginnott. He said, “In all situations it is the teacher who decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or dehumanized.” If every future teacher could somehow internalize and live just that one sentence, our classrooms and students would benefit every day.

However, that quote doesn’t just apply to teachers and their students, it applies to life. As our population increases, it seems we have become less patient with one another. A person hesitates five seconds before moving on a green light and horns blare. A sales clerk has to call his manager to fix an error and people stomp away grumbling…or worse. A waitress places a lemon slice on someone’s water glass and the customer goes nuts.

Each of us has the power to de-escalate a tense situation. It’s a choice. All it takes is a smile, a kind word or even just calm patience. When we find our tempers rising we can choose to turn off that switch, take a deep breath and make a decision to de-escalate the situation. As the holidays and long lines increase this season we will all be put to the test. Does it make anyone feel better to grind someone into the ground? Where is the humanity in that? Escalate a situation and it almost always gets worse. Everyone loses. Add kindness and patience to the same situation and it will miraculously begin to improve. Everyone wins.

The choice is ours.

Nov17

Invisible Lessons

Posted on November 17, 2011 by daunaeasley

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What do I like most about teaching? The lessons I never planned; the student produced detours that suddenly interrupt the well thought out lesson plan.

Sometimes it is an irreverent comment from a student that makes a class collapse into laughter. At first it annoys me. I’m right in the middle of “important information” that I have to deliver and some kid funnier than I, kidnaps my class to prove he is more entertaining than the teacher. In that moment I have two choices; enjoy the joke with them or annoy all of them. I choose to laugh.

Another time a class discussion will take us in an unexpected direction as a student recalls a poignant moment from her life. The class is riveted to her comments. Her story touches them. My professional self screams to me, “You have only fifteen minutes to teach them the next ten points in your lesson plan.” Fortunately my human self realizes that that student has interrupted my well planned presentation with the most important lesson of the day. I have to release and make a U turn.

Life is exactly like my classroom. We are busy rushing from one item on our to-do list to the next, when traffic turns the interstate into a still life painting. A baby is born on an unexpected time table and we stop everything to celebrate. Or the phone rings right in the middle of our busiest season to tell us someone we love has a serious illness. In an instant our priorities change. We schedule an unexpected vacation and reexamine our choices.

It’s the unplanned lessons that touch us the most. When emotions are involved, when we “feel” things we remember. In life and in the classroom the lessons invisible at the beginning of the day are usually the ones most memorable in the long run.