Tag Archives: elderly parents

Moments Matter

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Making the Most of Moments

I’ve heard it said that we don’t remember days, we remember moments.  As I think back over my own life I believe that’s true.  The good news is moments take less time than elaborate events and time is a commodity most of us have in short supply.  Most moments that mean much to us simply evolve spontaneously.  But as we build a life of value, embracing the moments when they happen means a great deal.

I remember one significant moment in my life that didn’t even involve a single word. My youngest daughter, Kelsey endured two long battles with cancer.  During her second battle in her teen years while I drove her to the hospital for treatments, I knew she was uptight about all that would transpire, though she never would verbalize her fears.

I fell into the habit of putting my hand on her knee as we drove to the hospital.  One time as we drove there I was lost in my own silent thoughts of dread and I didn’t put my hand on her knee.  After a while she quietly picked up my hand and placed it on her knee.  No words at all.  But we were then connected.  She was telling me she was scared but didn’t want to talk about it. She was telling me that she needed me present with her. It was a moment I will never forget.

Another lighter moment happened in my classroom as I was preparing my teen students to go on a trip out-of-town for an educational conference.  I spoke to them seriously about our upcoming stay in a hotel.  No one was ever to be in the hotel hallway alone.

“Even if you are just going for a bucket of ice, you must have a partner with you,”  I warned.  “Never talk to strangers or enter the room of someone you’ve just met no matter how nice they seem.” I continued sternly.  The atmosphere was very sober as I wanted it to be.

At precisely that moment there was a knock on my classroom door.  A man wearing the uniform of the technology department whom I had never seen before, was looking for the room which housed the media brain of our building.  That particular door is somewhat hidden.  You must pass through another room that has no posted room number in order to find it.  I tried to describe the process to him, but he was still confused.  I stepped outside my classroom, walked a few feet down the hall, opened the unmarked door and escorted him inside to point out the door he was trying to find.  I was back in my classroom in seconds.

One of my female students with a gleam in her eye said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Easley.  Didn’t we just see you leave your friends and go into a room with a strange man who you didn’t even know?”  I tried to stay serious but the whole classroom dissolved into laughter.  What followed was an out-and-out giggle fit that went on and on.  Every time I tried to get the class back on track someone would start laughing again, usually me.

It was a spontaneous moment that none of us will ever forget.  I’m sure long after I’m dead and buried if those students get together to talk about old times, one of them will say, “Do you remember the time Mrs. Easley left the class and went off with a strange man?”  And they’ll laugh again.

What makes me proud?  I was “present” in those moments.  I connected with Kelsey’s message when she needed me.  And I collapsed in laughter when that was the only response needed.  I embraced the moments.  That’s why those moments will live forever.

This is an excerpt taken from my upcoming book:    Teach     To Change Lives 

Choices

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Yes or No

the choice

The world is full of an endless variety of people.  We come from all cultures, socio economic categories, and experiences.  We further differientiate ourselves by our talents, gender, interests, and professions.

But within all those categories, I believe humans honestly separate themselves into two main groups.  I’m talking about ‘yes’ and ‘no’ people.  These two types are universal.  You will find them within every sub category. They identify themselves by the choices they make.

When given a choice of any kind, ‘yes people’ have an instinct…an automatic response…to say yes.  They have to build a significant case against any choice before they feel comfortable ever saying ‘no.’

Given the same choice, or frankly any decision, ‘no people’ will put on the brakes.  Their automatic instinct is to say ‘no’ unless someone can convince them to overlook their reservations.  They have to be talked into a ‘yes’ and that can only be accomplished with some reluctance.

decision makingThink about yourself.  Which one are you?  ‘Yes’ people often find themselves overbooked, juggling too many responsibilities, maybe even resentful of being asked to take on more projects than they can fit into their lives.

‘No’ people, on the other hand have more free time but may miss an opportunity to grow because they deliberate too long before they are willing to take a risk. They may later regret not moving forward.

 The Choice

I’m a ‘yes person’.  I’ve learned this about myself.  I will find myself sometimes completely overwhelmed because I want to say yes any time I can possibly say yes.  So three months ago when someone who is an old friend emailed me and asked me to co-author an ebook about caring for our elderly parents; while all instincts inside of me were pointing to, “Are you crazy?” I still found myself leaning precariously toward yes.

I started making my checklist. Is this a smart idea?

yes or no

  • I never thought I would write about my mom and dad.  Can I do this?  Would I even want to?
  • I have nothing written about my parents.  It would be so much work.
  • Me?  Writing an ebook?  Have I ever even read an ebook?  No.  (Terrible thing to admit).
  • My computer skills are less than stellar.  Could I write an ebook with my lackluster computer skills?  Probably not.
  • My co-author whom I admire greatly lives all the way across the country.  I live in Cincinnati.  She lives in Seattle.  We would have no face-to-face contact.  Are you kidding?
  • She is talking about webinars and conference calls.  What?  Those words give me chills.

 Decision Making

After weighing all the pros and cons, quickly sketching out a couple of stories,  feeling completely overwhelmed and out of my element, quaking in my desk chair about the technology, I made the only choice that made any sense.   I said “Yes.”

The Result

gratitudeWe did it!  I’m incredibly proud of the stories we’ve written.  I know our experiences will help others who are trying to help their elderly parents make choices about their golden years.

I was in a steep learning curve every step of the way.  Yes, I have already written a book.  But this was my first venture into ebook territory.  It was truly foreign soil for me.  I had to maneuver webinars and conference calls which finally no longer scare me.

My partner, Marky Olson and I, encouraged one another every step of the way.  It seemed like each time one of us was a little discouraged the other would have just the right words to say.  Am I glad I took the risk?  Oh YES!  Our ebook will be out soon.  We are now in the process of  maneuvering through the decisions about the print version of our book.

My best advice?  Say ‘yes‘ whenever you can.

But maybe that’s just me.  I’d rather risk a failure saying ‘yes’ than regret missing a wonderful opportunity by saying ‘no’.  No doubt, I will fail more than most.  But I’ve already admitted I’m a ‘yes person’. I suppose you’ll have to decide for yourself.

Winning the Lottery

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Turn Your Losses Around

Do you buy lottery tickets?  Truth is I don’t.  But my brother does.  Recently he sent in a losing ticket to the Ohio Lottery center.  They receive 25,000 losing tickets each week and draw out eight people to come to a TV show called Cash Explosion.

I’ve written a post for my other blog site that I know you will enjoy.  I’m not certain if I’m allowed to copy a blog post from one spot to another, even if I wrote it.  Since I’m a play-by-the-rules kind of a gal, even if I’m not sure of the rules, I’m asking you to visit my other blog site to read my post.

Here are a couple of teasers and a promise

  • I went to the filming of the Cash Explosion show with him.
  • He won money!
  • But I won something more valuable than cash.
  • I promise you’ll like my true story

When you visit my other blog you will see old black and white photos across the top.  The two photos on the right are old pictures of my parents.  The blog I want you to read is titled “How I Won the Lottery!”  But there are some other great posts there also.

Find the blog site at:

caregivingelderlyparents.com