Category Archives: Teaching

Jun24

The Comfort? Zone

Posted on June 24, 2012 by daunaeasley

Learning from Students

Recently I had a pleasant lunch with a former student. This happens more frequently than you would imagine. I enjoy staying connected with former students to see how their lives are progressing.

Josh is a former high school student of mine who is now a college junior. He is an aspiring writer who has all the talents to make his goal a reality. He had recently attended a writing seminar that greatly motivated him and he wanted to share what he had learned with me. The conference premise was that our entire life is a story. If we give the way we live our lives the same thought and importance that we would use on a story we are writing, the world would become a better place. Donald Miller, the conference speaker, said. “The best way to change the world is to tell a good story with your life.”

This concept resonated with Josh and he chatted for maybe half an hour sharing what he had learned. Josh even brought me my own copy of the conference workbook because he knew this topic would intrigue me also. He was right. I’ve been working my way through the activities the workbook suggests.

It was during this lunch Josh told me about one of my classroom lessons that had also wormed its way into his psyche. These are the moments a teacher lives for. A golden nugget. A student recounts a classroom conversation that has really become a part of the way a student lives.

Let me share that classroom conversation/lesson with you.

What is Comfortable?

I start by asking students to list words or things that they think of when I say the word comfortable. They usually list items like slippers, robes or sweat pants. Some go in the direction of comfort foods and list hot chocolate, mashed potatoes, pizza or warm brownies. Others describe a place like a comfy chair, their bed or lying on the beach. Once they’re deep into the conversation about comfort I pose a new question. “Is comfort ever a bad thing?”

Most immediately say, “No.” I wait. One time after a long silence one teen girl finally spoke up and said, “Well there is that old boyfriend that you’ve dated for years. You break up and get back together over and over again. Deep down you know he’s not really right for you anymore, but you keep going back to him because he’s comfortable.”

Bingo.

As soon as one person breaks through others chime in with their own examples.

“You know the outfit doesn’t flatter you, but it’s comfortable.”

“You have a friend you’ve outgrown. That friend is making poor choices, but their friendship is comfortable.”

Once we get that conversation flowing, I tell them the bad news about the comfort zone. We think if we are comfortable all is well. But when we are completely comfortable we aren’t growing. For a while this feels okay. But eventually we learn that if we aren’t growing we aren’t really even standing still. Our world is shrinking. We stagnate. And that no longer feels good.

It’s important if we want to live fully, that we make a conscious effort to push outside our comfort zone. Is it easy? Not usually.

The Teacher Learns

I never went into a restaurant to eat alone until I became a professional speaker. I thought I’d be too self conscious…look too pathetic…eating alone. I had to push outside that discomfort. Now it’s possible for me to drive through the city to an airport, fly into another city I’ve never visited before, rent a car and using Mapquest or GPS, drive hours to a speech location. Once there I check into a hotel, go to a restaurant alone, sleep and then give a speech in front of thousands. Sometimes I venture from one state to another in a series before traveling home to my comfort zone again. Increasing the size of our comfort zone opens up a world of possibilities. Confession: What remains as my only crutch? I still need to carry a book into that restaurant and read as I eat alone.

We much teach young people AND remind ourselves about the perils of the comfort zone and encourage them to expand their own. If you’re too afraid to drive into the city, before you know it you’ll be avoiding the interstate. Next you’ll avoid high traffic times on the state routes. If you’re not careful to force yourself through the discomfort, you’ll find yourself giving up more and more activities that you may have enjoyed. Your freedom goes down the drain. Comfort, packaged attractively, may keep us from living the lives we want.

Thanks Josh, for taking that lesson in and living accordingly. And even greater thanks for telling your teacher that you remembered. It was always my goal while in the classroom to share lessons that would change people’s lives.

May29

How to Give a Great Speech

Posted on May 29, 2012 by daunaeasley

Standard

Tips for Effective Speaking

Want to Give a Great Speech?

Try these suggestions…

DO…start right in the middle of a story. If you want to make a point, think of a true story that illustrates that point and start right in the middle of that story. The best stories are the true stories that have happened to YOU in YOUR life. Only borrow your stories from books very sparingly. Audiences will likely have already heard those stories. You’ll come across as someone who doesn’t really know what you are talking about from experience.

DON’T… say things like “I’m glad to be here today”. You will lose your audience in the first few seconds.

DON’T… say “Here is a point I want to make.” The audience will check out right then. Just start in the middle of the story. Stories teach. Let your story make the point.

DO… speak in the same manner you would use talking to a good friend when you are having fun. Move your arms and body in the same way you would if you were telling a funny or frustrating story to a good friend. Be as animated as you would be if you were recounting a story to someone you know well. If you would say, “Well, duh!” to a friend, it is OK to say “Well, duh!” to an audience.

DON’T…obsess about all the things you have ‘learned’ about giving a speech. If you have to think about moving your arms, the entire gesture will look wooden. If you have to think about voice inflection, tempo and eye contact, you will look terrified and plastic.

DO…what feels natural. After quite a bit of experience speaking, I decided to join Toastmasters to further improve my skills. What did I discover? Toastmasters wasn’t for me. They had lots of rules like, “Never walk away from the microphone.” I move when I speak. It feels natural. I didn’t want to become self conscious about my movement so I had to give up on the Toastmaster way.

DO…look for a ‘nodder’ in the audience. There is always at least one person there, nodding at what you say. They are hoping you do well. Their nods will encourage you. Make eye contact with that person and talk to them like you are talking to a best friend. Use all the animation you would use with a best friend. The whole audience will feel that eye contact. As the larger audience starts to feel the story with you, then move your eyes to another person and connect with that person. Once the audience starts to laugh and feel with you, move your eyes to others.

DON’T…move your eyes around the room looking over all their heads. You aren’t performing. You are connecting. Caution: There are two exceptions to this.

When you are in a spotlight and the audience is in the dark, this becomes more difficult. Try to focus on someone in the front rows if that is possible at all. Or ask to have the lights turned up.
When I’m telling a story and an audience member becomes emotional, I may move my eyes to someone else. I don’t want to cry as I speak. I want my audience to feel the emotion, but I need to be able to tell the story without someone else’s tears making me lose my composure.

DO…pause and let your audience laugh. If you go on too quickly after a funny part of the story, you won’t give them time to enjoy the story with a laugh. If you can pause just a little bit longer, they will laugh twice. It takes courage at first. Inexperienced speakers tend to rush through their material. But audiences feel during the pauses. That is when they will laugh and cry a little.

DO…relax and let your personality shine through. The audience wants you to do well. When they see you relax, they will relax and enjoy what you have to say. If you are overly worried about your weight or hair or outfit they will feel your discomfort. Audiences are very forgiving. Your less than perfect outfit, hair or weight makes you more endearing. It puts them on your side. Focus on your connection with them, not your appearance.

DO…use audio visuals. But use them sparingly and well. Show a slide of a person whose story you are telling. Use a silly prop to make a point. Use music when your audience enters or leaves. Use music to speak over to add emotion. Speaking over music takes quite a bit of rehearsal. But once you have it nailed it will be dynamite.

DON’T…use a slide with lots of writing and then read the slide to them. This is the biggest don’t on my list. Don’t, don’t, don’t do this!

DO…laugh at yourself. Your audience will love that. Tell about a time you goofed up, a mistake you made. They have failed and goofed up too. They will love you and want to see you succeed. They’ll think, “Hey, she is just like me.” I once fell down on the stage right in the middle of a speech. I was in my fifties and getting up wasn’t pretty either. But once I was up I did a curtsy and waited. I got a standing ovation.

DO… end with an inspiring story. Audiences will remember the stories. If you tie them in well with your points they will remember the point you were making. But they WILL remember the stories and how they felt when you told the stories. The big skill is noticing the stories in your life as they occur. Use your stories to encourage others and you will hear plenty of…

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

May21

Don’t Ever Do This

Posted on May 21, 2012 by daunaeasley

Standard

Bad Idea

I was a teacher for decades. So I know a bad idea when I hear one. As bad ideas go, this one was a whopper. My high school students were brainstorming trying to come up with a fun activity for one of our Future Educators Association meetings. Everything I suggested was rejected. They wanted something new and exciting. I thought my ideas were creative. They looked at me like I was twice baked boredom in a casserole dish.

“I know,” said one of them, “Let’s have a paint fight!”

“Wrong!” I proclaimed loudly as they cheered right over the top of my voice. “BAD idea!” I repeated even more loudly when their cheering died down. They begged. They pleaded. They gave me rationale after rationale. I rejected every plea and promise they made. I wasn’t born yesterday. I talked about safety, the mess, the pandemonium, the lunacy, the clean up and the liability. I was eloquent.

Eventually they gave up. NOT! This argument and plea bargaining went on for months. On and on they argued. I said we couldn’t possibly do it at school. They said we could go to a park. I pointed out what the park personnel would think about us messing up their property and the court case that would follow. I talked about how it would ruin their clothes. They claimed we could make paint shirts. I said that would be fine. They said, “But only if we are wearing the shirts when we throw the paint to make them.” NO! Back to square one. This argument became the theme for the year.

After months of debate two things finally happened. They came up with an answer to every objection and I totally lost my mind…simultaneously. The end of the school year arrived. Some crazy wonderful parents volunteered their home which had a large empty field behind it. They had a power sprayer for clean up and then a pool for further cool off and a grill for cooking a picnic while the shirts dried. The plan was on. We all purchased black t-shirts. Each student was to bring in two or three colors of paint in plastic bottles. The brighter the better. It was a neon kind of a day.

The attendance? You guessed it. 100%!

The smartest girl of the day was Erica. She showed up with wearing swim goggles. Why didn’t I think of that? Don’t EVER try this activity without requiring goggles. I can’t claim that I was smart enough to outlaw this event. BUT I was smart enough to clip my shirt to the clothes line and tell them to decorate it as it hung on the line. Meanwhile I stood close to the pool and told them that NO PAINT could enter the pool area. I gave them a half-dozen rules which they promptly ignored and yelled, “GO!”

There was laughing, screaming, running, pandemonium and the biggest mess you ever saw in the vacant field. Two wonderful parents stayed patient and laughed through all of this. They spent forever spraying them off with the power washer. Some students had to even use their indoor showers to keep the paint from coloring their hair permanently. Results? No one was hurt. It is a favorite memory of everyone including me.

Every time I paint anything I grin as I wear my crazy paint shirt souvenir of that day. My grandkids always admire my shirt. They want one just like it. I’ve already bought the black shirts. Guess what I’m going to do with my grandkids on the first day of summer vacation? But NO they won’t be wearing the shirts when they splatter the paint. A gal can only take one adventure with that much insanity.

May8

A Kick in the Pants

Posted on May 8, 2012 by daunaeasley

Standard

Sharing Talents

I have a lovely friend named Candy, who I met in college at Miami University too many decades ago. I always admired her and wanted to get a little closer, but I did something really stupid. I got too busy with life and didn’t pursue a friendship my instincts told me would be valuable. I’m sure none of you are stupid enough to have ever done this. But I can be short-sighted like that.

Don’t let the picture scare you. Candy, fortunately didn’t die. I’ll tell you about the tombstone in a minute. When I retired from teaching last year I finally had my second chance to reconnect with Candy. I got just a little bit smarter and I did it. I found an email address in an old Christmas letter and I contacted her. We have been exchanging enjoyable emails for over a year and catching up on our lives. What a lovely gift I gave myself at this point in my life.

Discovering Treasures

One of the wonderful talents I rediscovered in Candy was her writing. She is simply a beautiful writer. I’ve complimented her on her writing style frequently and encouraged her to share her talent with others. Candy was an only child and confided that she really wanted to write stories about her parents. They are both gone now and she realized if she didn’t write about them, who would ever know them once she was gone? Memories of them would be lost to the world. But this wonderful friend is something of a perfectionist. She is her own worst critic. Too many of us do that to ourselves. Don’t we? If these stories couldn’t be absolutely perfect, she told herself, “Why begin?”

That is when her annoying friend, (yep,me) after reading one more delightful email from Candy complimented her one more time on her writing and then posed this tactless question. “Do you really want to take this talent to the cemetery with you without sharing it with anyone?” See tombstone above. Oh, I can be such a thoughtless and undiplomatic nag when I spot a buried treasure. It’s that somewhat ‘tact free’ approach to kicking people in the pants that made me a good teacher.

Guess what? I don’t remember using that sentence on her. But she just sent it back to me yesterday. It was pretty embarrassing to realize how I had worded that challenge. But I forgive myself, because she has started to write wonderful stories about her parents. It worked. Her parents are reborn as she makes them come alive in her writings.

So now, I’m asking you. “What talent do YOU have that you are saving for the cemetery? Is that really the best use of your talents?” Of course, none of us plan to take our talents to the grave. Would it take a terminal diagnosis to get you going? What are you gonna’ do about sharing those talents today? I’m here to nag you just a little bit about it.

This week in addition to my blogs, I’ve written two pieces I’ve submitted for a writer’s contest and a publication. I might not win. They might not print my work. Rejection isn’t fun. In fact, rejection stings. But picturing that cemetery keeps me trying. What about you?

Mar26

You Can Do It!

Posted on March 26, 2012 by daunaeasley

Standard

How to Talk to Teens

Have you ever tried to talk to an apathetic teen? I have. It is sometimes quite maddening. Once they are feeling down they will put up all kinds of barriers. They seem to dare you to try to make them feel good.

One of their favorite words is, “Whatever.” It means, “Whatever you say or do doesn’t get through to me. You can talk all you want, but you can’t breakthrough to me.”

It makes you feel like those old Charlie Brown TV shows. You could see the teacher talking in the background, but all Charlie Brown could hear was, “Mwah, mwah, mwah.” When they are in that ‘whatever’ mode they seem to be deaf to encouragement.

Whatever

But having taught teens for decades I have my own rules for ‘whatever’. My rules go like this.

Whatever you do, don’t stop talking to them. They may appear deaf, but they are not. The world has turned them upside down temporarily, and they are reaching for help. When they appear the most deaf, the most uninterested in what you have to say, is exactly the moment they need you the most.

They can’t let you know your words are helping. It’s some kind of teen honor code or something. But don’t be fooled; they need your words. Much later they may be able to tell you how much your words meant to them. Or maybe not. But I’ve worked with teens for decades and I am telling you whatever you do, don’t stop talking. Here is exactly what to say.

“I’ve been thinking about you.” Tell them specifically when you were thinking about them. When you were in the car? While you were grocery shopping? During a meeting? Tell them the details about when you were thinking about them. They need to know that you think about them when you are not with them. They want to know they matter to you. It’s true for their parents. It’s true for their teachers.

Then say, “It seems like something is on your mind.” or “It seems like something is going on in your life.” “I’ve been noticing you’ve been extra quiet. I want you to know that I am always here for you. You can always talk to me about anything. But if you don’t want to talk about it yet, I respect your privacy. Just know that I’m here for you.”

Caution. If they have shared something with you in the past and you have gone cuckoo about it, they won’t share again. It is always best to under react to keep the lines of communications open. Teens have told me things that would curl the toes of the devil himself, but no matter how I’m feeling inside I always under react to an initial revelation. Later when the situation has improved or changed I might let them know how worried or bothered I was for them. But I NEVER allow my initial shock to show, so they will feel comfortable approaching me in the future.

Dauna Easley’s Whatevers

Here are my own ‘whatever’ messages I want teens to learn from me.

Whatever life hands you, you can handle it. Life is a roller coaster filled with ups and downs but you are equipped to hang on and triumph.
Whatever happens, you are creative enough to respond to it. If you lose a job, you can find or create a new profession with your talents.
If a new opportunity presents itself, you can do it.
Whatever challenges come your way you have the perseverance to overcome them.
You are strong. You are talented. You are capable. I believe in you. You can handle WHATEVER comes across your path.
I’ve been thinking about you; and I know you can succeed whatever comes your way.

Feb9

A Man Cave for Girls

Posted on February 9, 2012 by daunaeasley

Standard

But First a Good Book

Where have I been? Reading a great book! For those of you who are trying

to have breakthrough moments this year I highly recommend M.J. Ryan’s

book titled This Year I Will. It is full of great ideas for breaking a habit, or

sticking to a resolution that has beaten you in the past. Get it! Read it!

Together it will help us break habits that have beaten us before we decided to

breakthrough. I loved the sensible suggestions and encouraging words within.

Yes! I Said Man Cave for Girls

One of my former high school students visited me in my home last night. She is now a college senior who is a future teacher. She came to my home to help me make a video about my upcoming book. My young friends are wonderful resources when it comes to technology skills.

Her name is Kaitlyn and she can make a computer come alive with creativity. Best of all she is willing to share her skills with me. I’m telling you when you teach with your heart your students will love you forever. They flock to my side to help me every time I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

I loved what she said when she first walked into my home office. “Wow!’ she said. I was afraid my disarray had punched her in the solar plexis. But she took away my embarrassment with her next sentence. “I can’t wait to have my own home so I can have a room like this. This is like a girl’s version of a man cave!”

God bless her. She ‘gets it’. The room where I write is a feminine version of a man cave. Which is to say it isn’t a man cave at all. No dark paneling can be found in my domain. No bar for drinks or kegs of beer.

No giant screen TV has been invited into my room. I’m surrounded by built in shelves backed by white bead board and filled with books I love. The walls are a beautiful pastel, lampshades are gingham, and wicker baskets with charming fabrics hold my pretty folders full of past programs where I was invited to speak and writing ideas. And my file folders aren’t manila. They are flowered, striped, checked, paisley or polka dots. “Why?” you ask. Why not?

A variety of scrapbook papers are within reach and a polka dot flower pot holds my colored markers. I have stickers, stamps, and paper cutters. I’m surrounded by encouraging quotes and sayings. I thrive on encouraging words. Some of them say…

Your story matters

She believed she could…so she did.

It is often the bend in the road the makes life worth the drive.

To teach is to love.

Welcome to my loose interpretation of clean

Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

Yeah, I admit. It is cluttered. There is always a pile on my desk. Ask any student who ever entered my classroom. But every item in it sparks my creativity and wraps me in encouragement as I write. The framed cover of my first book hangs on the wall. It is matted in bright yellow to grab my attention and remind me that my words matter.

I admit I didn’t get my shabby chic cocoon until my daughters moved out. But I have it now and it lifts my spirit and makes my heart soar every day. Here’s hoping you ladies will follow my lead. It’s not just the men who need a special room to rejuvenate them. Go for it girls.

If Kaitlyn were still here I’d have her take a bunch of pictures of my room and post them on my blog. But, well, I’d have to clean first. Let’s not get carried away.

Jan24

Great Recipe

Posted on January 24, 2012 by daunaeasley

Standard

A Child’s Perspective

It was the end of a long, busy day in my third grade classroom. Children were busily getting ready to go home.

“Be sure to put your chairs on top of your desks and pick up any debris that you see,” I reminded.

Bobby looked puzzled. “What’s debris?” he said.

“Debris is leftover stuff,” was my impromptu reply. I glanced at him to see if he heard me.

“Oh yeah,” he said with understanding spreading across his face. “My mom fixes debris for

supper sometimes.”

(Yes, this actually happened in my classroom. Reprinted from my book Teachers Touch Eternity).

Dec17

Confessions of a Blogging Fool

Posted on December 17, 2011 by daunaeasley

Standard

Every instinct in me tells me not to reveal what I am about to reveal, but I’m gonna’ do it anyway. That just shows you how desperate (or stupid) I am.

I’m only pretending to be a blogger, but I honestly don’t know how to blog. Every time I get on to post something I feel like I’m some kind of a bumbling archeologist digging for tiny clues about what I’m supposed to be doing.

In other areas of my life, I actually feel some tiny bit of competence, but not when I blog. It’s annoying to feel like such a fool.

Example: I’m an author. Yes, I’ve actually written a published book. I have the cover of that book on a jpeg on my desktop, but I don’t know how to post it on my blog. !? How stupid is that? Today I actually found a comment on my blog from a college instructor, asking for copies of my book. The poor gal had to be extremely motivated because I can’t even post the bookcover so I know she didn’t find out about the book from me. Duh.

I can, however, post photos of Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal faking it… or David Letterman. My skills aren’t nonexistent. I just don’t get the whole blog puzzle. I refuse to confess how many hours I have spent trying to post that one simple jpeg that contains the cover of my book on my blog. You would throw yourself on the floor and laugh for a week.

Last week someone “liked me’ on my blog. That actually does happen quite a bit and I am grateful. These people do not know I am clueless. When I read a blogpost from the person who “liked” me they listed blog do’s and don’ts. I was amazed. The post said, “Never blog more than twice a week. People won’t want to be bothered.” Oh dear, I’ve been rude. Forgive me. She “liked” me in spite of my goof.

Her blog also said not to post in the middle of the night or on a weekend. Another goof. I almost always write and post in the middle of the night. No wonder I’m getting responses from the other side of the world. And I’m sorry I’m writing this on a weekend.

I’m going to try to follow these mysterious rules. I have slowed down on my blogging. If you don’t know what you are doing….do it less. That’s probably a good rule. However, that’s not the real reason I’ve been blogging less. The real reason is I’m writing another book. Yay! This one will be an eBook.

Can you imagine the misplaced confidence of a blogging idiot to attempt to write an eBook? I must be crazy. But I have to confess, I’m completely absorbed in it. The invitation was extended to me and I jumped on board. I’m excited about the opportunity and as the writing flows, I have a sneaking suspicion that it is going to be great. I’ll tell you more about it when it is closer to being finished. But I doubt that I will be able to post the cover.

My book that has already been published is titled Teachers Touch Eternity. It’s a wonderul inspiring book for teachers or future teachers. It has a great cover. But you’ll probably never see it because I still can’t figure out how to post the cover on my blog.

A couple of days ago, one of the “likes” I received I believe belongs to a treasured former student. Hi Ally! She will not be surprised that I am clueless about blogging. She could tell you stories.

Forgive me as I continue to fumble along doing something that is really difficult for me. I suppose that is the only way to learn a new skill. I’m a teacher so I should know. Thanks to all of you for your patience with a blogging fool.

Nov17

Invisible Lessons

Posted on November 17, 2011 by daunaeasley

Standard

What do I like most about teaching? The lessons I never planned; the student produced detours that suddenly interrupt the well thought out lesson plan.

Sometimes it is an irreverent comment from a student that makes a class collapse into laughter. At first it annoys me. I’m right in the middle of “important information” that I have to deliver and some kid funnier than I, kidnaps my class to prove he is more entertaining than the teacher. In that moment I have two choices; enjoy the joke with them or annoy all of them. I choose to laugh.

Another time a class discussion will take us in an unexpected direction as a student recalls a poignant moment from her life. The class is riveted to her comments. Her story touches them. My professional self screams to me, “You have only fifteen minutes to teach them the next ten points in your lesson plan.” Fortunately my human self realizes that that student has interrupted my well planned presentation with the most important lesson of the day. I have to release and make a U turn.

Life is exactly like my classroom. We are busy rushing from one item on our to-do list to the next, when traffic turns the interstate into a still life painting. A baby is born on an unexpected time table and we stop everything to celebrate. Or the phone rings right in the middle of our busiest season to tell us someone we love has a serious illness. In an instant our priorities change. We schedule an unexpected vacation and reexamine our choices.

It’s the unplanned lessons that touch us the most. When emotions are involved, when we “feel” things we remember. In life and in the classroom the lessons invisible at the beginning of the day are usually the ones most memorable in the long run.