Jan14

The Kiss

Posted on January 14, 2013 by daunaeasley

Singing Off Key

“Then he kissed me,” sang Nikki out loud and a little off-key. My high school senior students were cutting, gluing, coloring and assembling learning games for preschoolers. It wasn’t one of those times the classroom needed to be quiet. No one responded to Nikki’s short impromptu song. Some were having conversations of their own as they worked.

“Then he kissed me,” chimed Nikki again. I was working on something at my desk. No comment came from me either.

“Then he kissed me,” sang Nikki a third time as she continued to work. Finally she turned to her classmates. “I can’t get that song out of my head. How does the rest of it go?” A few classmates looked interested but no correct answers came forth.

Someone said, “I think it’s from a movie.”

Another one offered, “Was it in Pretty Woman?”

Silently I chuckled to myself. That song was from my era, way, way back. Of course, a teenager who heard it in a movie today might think it was more recent. A brief conversation among my students followed. No one asked my opinion. Several students suggested movies they thought featured the song. I made a quick internal decision.

Be Ready

Teachable Moments = Reachable Moments

Act Quickly

Without looking up from my work, giving absolutely no eye contact, I started to sing slowly.

“Each time I saw him I couldn’t wait to see him again.”

I stopped singing, but I continued working. I still had not looked up. From the periphery of my vision I could see them glancing at one another. Are we hearing things? Was the teacher singing? No way. I waited a long pause. Eyes down, still looking intent on my work, I sang another line with feeling.

“I wanted to let him know that he was more than a friend.”

Oh good grief the teacher was singing. How embarrassing was this? You could feel the discomfort in the room. Had Mrs. Easley gone mad? But not one person spoke. All eyes were glued to me. Finally I looked up as I sang the next line. I made slow and deliberate eye contact with each of them.

“I didn’t know just what to do”

(Pause)

“And so I whispered ‘I love you’.”

I waited even a longer pause. They were frozen. No one even breathed. They had almost forgotten how embarrassed they were. They were totally hooked into the story of the song. When I knew I “had” them all I sang on slowly and deliberately.

“He said that he loved me too…

And then he kissed me.”

You could feel the sigh in the room. Not one person said a word. Nobody wanted to break the spell. Finally I spoke.

“Ladies, a kiss well done, I mean really well done is the sexiest experience in the world. That’s because a totally great kiss carries so much emotion in it. If you don’t think so, you’ve been kissing the wrong toads. Take your time…and enjoy the kisses, ladies.”

A couple of the girls nodded. I happened to be teaching in what we call an at-risk environment. This senior class had several young mothers and a couple of pregnant students too. Clearly some toads had already arrived.

But you could see that they agreed with me. I wanted to remind them that they truly deserved some great kisses. Slowly and only gradually they went back to work. There was a hush, a closeness, in the room. “The Kiss Lesson” wasn’t anywhere in my lesson plans or daily objectives. If I had been with another group of students it might never have happened. But it was the best and most memorable thing that happened that day…for all of us.

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

Or autographed or in large quantities from the author dauna@cinci.rr.com

Jan7

Classroom Activities that are Memorable

Posted on January 7, 2013 by daunaeasley

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Get Out of Town

One of the tough things about teaching is that you are so strictly tied into the school calendar. In the middle of winter, when I’d like to be heading for the sunshine state, I’m stuck in the classroom. Truth is, ten months a year classroom educators are just about as tied to a static location as anyone possibly can be.

Early in my career I discovered an effective way to get out-of-town when bad weather or boredom set in. I plan an imaginary jet trip. Don’t scoff until you’ve tried it. The first time I attempted it, I admit I was young and green and would try anything. My third graders were learning about New York City. In an attempt to make the experience more creative than simply reading from a textbook, I dreamed up taking an imaginary jet trip to the Big Apple. I really talked it up to the children. In fact, I made it so real several of my students just mentally cancelled out the word “imaginary.” Parents were calling the school to tell the principal or me that their children were afraid to get on the plane. I had a lot of explaining to do.

Taking Off

On the day of the “flight” the children arrived with their suitcases packed and their dads’ belts in tow. We were going to use those dads’ belts as seat belts on the plane. Beforehand the children were given a weather report of the intended destination and some advice on what they might want to pack. We always pretended we were going to spend the night so pajamas and favorite sleep items came along. One of the most interesting activities we did while flying’was to unpack each child’s suitcase and examine what they had chosen to bring along.

For our flight the classroom chairs were arranged as seats might be on the inside of a jet. We used tickets, now generated by a computer which made them very realistic and provided a great souvenir. Students acted the parts of all the airline personnel. We had a pilot and co-pilot complete with earphones and hats for realism. We had ticket takers who stamped the tickets and baggage claim agents who tagged the luggage and took it away to the rear of the plane. We usually used a wagon for a baggage cart. Flight attendants welcomed the passengers aboard as they walked over a couple of steps we had arranged next to the plane. Attendants then instructed the passengers to stow items under their seats and checked to make sure seatbelts were securely fastened. They also served a snack while en route. Personnel in the front office of the school used the intercom to welcome the passengers aboard the flight and invited them to sit back and relax as they flew.

We never had a plane crash, but we did one time encounter quite a bit of turbulance.

We were comfortably belted into our seats and watching a slide show of New York tourist attractions when the school fire alarm went off. I silently cursed the office personnel who I assumed were doing this as a prank. The alarm had sounded shortly after they had come over the PA system to welcome us aboard. They knew all my students were belted into their seats. But in front of the students there was nothing to do but struggle along with them to help them unfasten their dads’ belts one by one.

We were by far the last class to arrive outside. Finally we received the “all clear” signal to reenter the building. I was doing my best to recreate the imaginary mood of the flight and had everyone buckled back in and almost calm when the fire alarm went off again. I couldn’t believe it. The first time might have been funny, but his was downright irritating. It took us even longer this time to make it to our designated safe location. I later learned that the fire inspector had indeed paid an unexpected visit to our school. Because of my class we had flunked the inspection. The fire official had waited a short time to give us a second chance, but we flunked again, royally. Oops! Apparently creativity has its price.

While I first used this activity in the elementary grades, I admit I have used it successfully for just about every age group. It has become a yearly tradition in my classroom. My senior early childhood education students get very involved with setting up the plans and activities for our laboratory preschool. If I’m not teaching in an inflexible social studies curriculum, I allow my student a lot of freedom to choose the destination. Two popular trips during the winter months are Hawaii and Disney World. The students have fun pulling out their summer clothes to pack in the middle of winter, along with sunglasses, bathing suits, suntan lotion, and beach towels. Some even come to school in shorts, a feat in Ohio in the winter months. One of my seniors, wore a grass skirt and strategically placed half coconuts over her blouse. That picture made the school yearbook. If we travel to Hawaii, we make grass skirts from green plastic trash bags and learn to dance the Hula to Hawaiian music. We get out our beach towels and “sunbathe” during preschool story time. We play beach blanket bingo, during which students pretend to sunbathe on a towel until the music stops and then run to a new towel. We cut open a fresh pineapple for snack. We make leis to wear home. Since camcorders and video cams have become popular, we can usually watch a video of our destination and parents love making their own recordings of our trip. We always reboard our plane and fly home just in time to meet them.

Coming Home Again

The variations are as endless as your imagination, and so are the opportunities for learning. When I taught in the primary grades, if we were traveling to China, I had a parent bring in Chinese food for lunch and we ate with chopsticks. Going to Mexico? Learn the Mexican Hat Dance, eat Mexican food and break a pinata. Take a look at your curriculum. What do you need to teach that you could make more realistic and more fun by imaginatively traveling to that destination? Invite in a guest speaker with appropriate costumes. If you’re studying a particular era in history, turn your classroom into a time machine and travel backwards in time. Bring your classroom alive. The sky is the limit.

TEACH…To Change Lives
Available at Amazon.com

Or autographed or in large quantities from the author dauna@cinci.rr.com

Dec31

Bright Ideas for Dark Days

Posted on December 31, 2012 by daunaeasley

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The Teacher Was Absent

I post a new thought for teachers every Monday at this blog site. However, on Monday December 24, my post was missing. My apologies. No, I wasn’t strolling on the beach as the photo seems to indicate. I only wish that were the case. My hubby was in the midst of a serious unexpected medical emergency. I was at the hospital with him where I needed to be. Yes, we spent the 10 days surrounding Christmas at the hospital, but our family came to see us there on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. He continues to recover. Thank you for your understanding.

Twenty Bright Ideas for Dark Days

When the memory of those beautiful fall days begins to dim and spring still seems a lifetime away, we may feel our classroom enthusiasm begin to take a nose dive. Some of you may drive to school and/or even home in the dark. Do you need some ways to keep yourself upbeat for your students? Remember: We can’t pass along what we don’t possess. Try some of these ideas that worked for me.

Fake it till you make it. This isn’t phony. William James, the psychologist called this the “as if” principle. If you want to feel enthusiastic act ‘as if’ you already are. I learned this lesson clearly during a particularly tough time in my personal life. It was my job to be at the school entrance to greet young children when they arrived in the morning. No matter how down in the dumps I felt when I arrived, after 20 minutes of greeting one child after another with a big smile and a friendly observation or two, I felt better for the whole day.
Allow for spontaneity. Change your plans. Put a new twist on an old lesson. What is something you have never tried in your classroom before? Now is the time! When I was writing my two books for teachers I discovered something that surprised me. The stories I wrote about were almost always the first time I tried an activity in the classroom. If the activity was a success, then I would do it again in subsequent years. But it was almost always the first time I did the activity that was the “memory maker.” Fresh ideas spark our creativity and engage students in new ways.
Build an encouragement folder. Whenever someone writes you a positive note for any reason, pop that note into a folder. Pull out all those notes when you need to recharge your batteries. It will pump up your confidence and make you feel great.
Lighten up! When you find yourself getting really angry about something, step back and try to laugh about it. Mentally make it into a comedy routine if you have to. In our profession we spend way too much time lamenting about policies and new systems that have really nothing to do with teaching. Focus on your students and the teaching. That is what attacted us to this profession. Let the other stuff bounce off you like a kangaroo on a pogo stick.
Read motivational books or inspirational thoughts late at night or before work in the morning. The morning news depresses me. I have found that I can’t listen to how many murders, rapes and fires happened overnight and then teach teenagers during the day. But with the right music and uplifting thoughts in my head, I’m the best that I can be. Don’t my students deserve this?
Practice kindness. Kindness helps absolutely everything. It is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear. I’m far from perfect but I can tell you this: The times I haven’t been kind haunt me. Kindness lifts everyone, not just the receiver of the kindness, but also the giver too.
Take a class that will help you reflect on your job in a positive way. I teach future teachers, but still I take classes with the same titles as the classes I teach. I always learn new ideas and teaching strategies in every class in which I enroll. I can also be a valuable contributor to a class I’m taking. Every time I have taken a class I’ve come back to the classroom with fresh ideas to try with my students. I don’t care how experienced you are, there are always new things to learn if your attitude is in the right place.
Write down new ideas the moment they pop into your mind. Try to take some action on them within 24 hours. Someone invented sticky notes just for me. I’m full of ideas that are gone in an instant. The creativity of the sticky notes compels me to use them to organize my thoughts. There are arrows, tabs, neon bursts, and 4×6 inch sticky notes for more lengthy ideas. Use them to jot down ideas and then take action. Action will put you in a better frame of mind 100% of the time.
Improve your work space. Buy a new organizer or select a new picture. I work best when I’m surrounded by quotes that inspire me. If you don’t have an extra nickel to spare, clean your desk area. I’m very creative but my desk is always a mess. Every time I take the time to clear my desk it lifts my spirits. What is an added bonus? I find great things. I come across a new idea for teaching or writing that I only had time to jot down previously. When I discover it again, I run with it.
Purge. Don’t stop with just your desk. Clean out your files as though you were taking a new job. That happened to me once. On the last day of school I didn’t know that I would be taking a new job during the summer months. I left years of files and had to start fresh. At first it was scary, but it also felt great. I now had room to file all the new ideas and items I needed to do my job now. Purge as though you are moving.
Record uplifting music. Listen to it on the way to work and while you are grading papers. I always play music as my students enter the room. It feels as though something exciting is going to happen.
Compliment a co-worker. Better yet, put the compliment in writing. It will uplift the person receiving the compliment, but it will also make you feel great. Try to encourage and compliment at least one co-worker per day. Make it your own secret challenge.
Set goals that move and inspire you. Don’t choose hollow goals or goals someone else assigns you. Set goals that matter to you and move forward on them. When we feel great about ourselves we can better inspire and motivate others.
Create a new bulletin board or display in your classroom. Visually appealing surroundings encourage us and our students. Look at your classroom as though you are walking in the door for the first time. What strikes you?
Keep a gratitude journal. I record five things for which I am grateful every night before I go to bed. During the summer months I do this in the morning instead of at night. This activity will change the focus of your day. You will begin to look for positive events rather than focus on annoyances.
Solve a problem. Instead of complaining about how things ought to be, come up with a solution. Everyone will be grateful. You’ll be a hero and that feels terrific.
Attend an educational conference. You’ll rub elbows with other educators who are serious about improving their skills. You’ll return to school rejuvenated and ready to try some new ideas you discover. Better yet, become a presenter at a conference. Share ideas that have worked in your classroom.
Change your routine. Have a mental list of some things you’ve been wanting to do someday? We all have a list like this. Take a weekend trip to a place you’ve always wanted to visit. Call up an old friend or drop them an email.
Share ideas. You have so much talent among your co-workers. Find a way to have each of them share their best ideas with the rest of you. I once ran a monthly professional development experience in the school where I worked. Each month I had a few teachers share their best ideas. Don’t overlook the teacher next door.
Most important tip of all! Don’t eat lunch with the crab apples. During this valuable time of day, surround yourself with people who speak highly of students and those who are excited about making their classrooms and your school a positive place to be.

Twenty tips may overwhelm you. But I believe if you try even a few of these ideas you won’t be just counting the days until spring; you’ll be doing things that make every day count. Welcome 2013 into your life and your classroom.

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

Or autographed or in large quantities directly from the author dauna@cinci.rr.com

Dec17

Hope

Posted on December 17, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Teaching Hope

The holiday season helps us remember that teaching our students to hope is our most important job. While you enjoy your holiday break, take time to reflect on the important role that hope plays in your classroom. How can you instill hope in your students in the new year?

Why?

Hope accelerates learning.

Hope is the lubricant for all future successes.

We need to sell hope harder than we push our subject matter.

Without hope winning in life is impossible.

Hope will help steer your students through all of life’s challenges.

We need to instill hope first before we assign any project.

A Dozen Ways to Build Hope

Building hope

Look for ways to make your students shine. Everyone has some kind of special talent. Find it and then find a way to capitalize on it.
Describe in detail the successes you see in a student’s future. Hope may first come from someone we admire visualizing our success and describing it to us.
Make one-on-one eye contact with a student. Don’t just glance or teach over their heads.
Describe to your students a time in your own life when you may have felt hopeless. Then recount how the situation resolved itself.
Point out progress. Don’t save all your accolades for perfection.
Bring your own enthusiasm to the classroom. Not feeling it? Fake it.
Sit down next to a student at their desk and chat.
Be approachable. Let students know how they can find you for a private conversation.
Listen!
Hear them out as they describe all the reasons why they can’t win, be accepted, or succeed. Then YOU make them listen to all the reasons why you know they can. Support your opinions with stories, facts and observations.
Reflect. Think about specific students while you aren’t with them and brainstorm ways in which you can build hope within them.
Let them know you were thinking about them. Be specific. “While I was driving to school, I was thinking about you. Here’s what I was thinking…You have no idea how talented you are.” (It is so powerful to know that a teacher cares about us and thinks about our well-being even when we aren’t in the classroom).

TEACH…To Change Lives
Available at Amazon.com

Autographed or in large quantities from the author dauna@cinci.rr.com

Dec10

The Power of Quiet Words

Posted on December 10, 2012 by daunaeasley

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Can You Hear Me Now?

A few years back I spotted a small hand-made pillow at a craft fair which had wonderful words embroidered on it. I purchased it and put in on the seat of an old-fashioned school desk that I kept in a corner of my classroom. I used it as a reminder for me and all the future teachers that I taught. What did the embroidery say?

“Words that soak into the heart are whispered, never yelled.”

Since I have retired from full-time teaching, that little pillow sits in a small child-sized wicker rocker that I have in my home for my grandchildren. What powerful words those are.

Just this last week as I traveled from school to school to observe future teachers in training, one of them complained to me. “My voice doesn’t travel well in the classroom. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to control my students because they won’t be able to hear me.” I explained to that young aspiring teacher that a soft voice can be an asset, if you know how to use it well. I quoted my pillow.

When to Yell

Never. Alright, maybe if there is a tsunami wave on the beach right outside your school building and you quickly enter your noisy school cafeteria. You must get them to listen to immediate emergency directions. THEN you may yell…once.

But in every other teaching situation, to speak effectively, speak quietly. When someone yells at us, we freeze. Our survival instinct kicks in and we desperately try to separate ourselves from the environment. We feel like a raccoon caught in bright headlights. Unfortunately students usually cannot just get up and leave a classroom when a teacher yells at them. But they flee mentally or emotionally when someone raises their voice. The teacher may be yelling, trying to make a point, but the student isn’t really “there” at all. And yet there is some kind of instinct we too often develop while growing up watching our parents. Why is it we think, “If they don’t get it, we should just say it again…only louder.” ? We repeat the same explanations in the exact same way only with more volume, then they’ll understand. Right? Wrong.

Quiet words sink in. Words spoken softly don’t shut us down. Quiet words encourage us and help us breakthrough to understanding. They reassure us of our worth. When you sit next to a student and give them kind, quiet, reassuring directions and compliments it opens a student to learning heights they may have previously doubted they would ever achieve. Quiet words invite us into the learning process. They break through our resistance to new ideas and thoughts.

I once watched a master teacher named Nancy McClimans demonstrate the power of quiet words. She always spoke to her first graders in a quiet, calm voice. When she really wanted their attention, she would speak quietly and with each sentence she would make her voice just a little bit softer. Within seconds the students were completely still, giving her total eye contact and even leaning forward to catch every important word. Try this strategy. You will be amazed at its power.

Quiet calm words are even more important when working with students from an ‘at risk’ environment. Too many of today’s children hear yelling in their homes. It also surrounds them on reality television. On TV students watch talk shows and opinion panels during which every participant over talks or even over shouts every other member of the panel. How do you effectively respond to a shouting out-of-control student? There is only one way… with quiet, calm words.

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

Or autographed or in large quantities from the author at dauna@cinci.rr.com

An apology and a disclaimer. WordPress (my blog site) has made some changes which I’m finding difficult to maneuver. I usually post on Monday mornings, but last week on Sunday Dec. 2nd I apparently hit a wrong button and my article posted before it was finished. It didn’t have a conclusion or even any editing. At that point words were spelled incorrectly and some words were even missing. I fear some of my most loyal followers who subscribe to my blog got a far inferior version of my regular blog. My humble apologies. Please be patient with me as I learn the new twists and turns of wordpress.

Dec2

Gifts from the Classroom

Posted on December 2, 2012 by daunaeasley

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What is the best holiday gift you have ever received? From my childhood I remember a much wished for and cherished bike that sat in front of the Christmas tree, the only new one I ever owned. This was a stunning event in the household where I grew up, because we usually didn’t receive what we most wanted. However the elves must have been extremely busy that year because they didn’t do a good job of assembling this bike and it never actually worked just right. Oh, it looked very pretty, but sometimes when you turned the handle bars, the front wheel didn’t turn – not a reliable characteristic for a bike. I probably jumped more miles on my on my beloved pogo stick than I ever rode on that bike. Oh, could this gal pogo! I bounced everywhere. Yep, I’d have to say that my pogo stick was my all time favorite gift from childhood.

What I Admire About You

But as we mature we come to realize the truth of that adage, “The best things in life aren’t things.” They truly aren’t. The best thing in life is making others feel good about themselves. We all long to feel valued and appreciated. About two-thirds of the way through my teaching career I discovered an activity that helped accomplish this goal. I always planned this activity for sometime during the holidays.

As my students entered the classroom they received a stack of blank index cards…one for each of their classmates and one for the teacher. Silently I had them write the name of a classmate at the top of each card and then write one thing they admired about that student. I encouraged them to be as specific as possible. General statements like, “You are a great gal” are not as powerful as “I admire the way you always have something encouraging to say when someone in our class is down in the dumps.” They were required to write one about me (the teacher) also. Let me tell you high school teachers need their encouragement too. There were a few cautions and guidelines I voiced ahead of time. Absolutely no ‘put downs” would be tolerated, only positive comments were permitted.

A Confession

I admit that occasionally I had a group of students so at odds with one another before we began this activity, that I didn’t require that they write a compliment to every classmate. I might limit it to 10 or 12 compliments written using time parameters as an excuse. I wanted to make certain no one was ever hurt by this activity. But when you set limits like these, you always risk the omission of someone being complimented. I only used these limits a time or two. Here’s the real beauty of the activity. Each time I limited the number of compliments they had to provide, they always got half way through the activity and then THEY requested of ME that they be able to write something they admired about everyone in the class. That is how great is the power of writing positive words about someone.

Then Comes the Magic

At the end of our time limit, we circled our desks and orally read one card at a time. One student would read aloud to one other student a single comment while all others listened. Then the next person in the circle would read a comment about someone else. I encouraged them to keep changing the people who were being complimented. “Try and choose someone no one has yet read about,” was my occasional reminder. When it was my turn to read I always started by complimenting someone I felt was considered just a little outside the inner circle…the kids not quickly accepted by their peers. As we listened around and around that circle twenty or thirty revolutions, you could feel the climate of our classroom change. They smiled more easily, eyes moistened, shoulders relaxed, heads nodded as everyone agreed with a compliment being shared orally, and teens relaxed their armor. Kindness settled softly over our circle like a cashmere blanket. Friends became closer and former adversaries demonstrated tolerance. When others validate us, we are more likely to notice and appreciate positive traits in others. The students in my classroom became a family. There is no greater gift for a student who will be walking into your classroom every day for an entire school year.

Just before our time together ended, I instructed them to pass their cards out to one another. By taking the time to distribute their compliments in written form, everyone could carry the compliments away and read them again whenever they might need a morale boost. As dozens of students stood to distribute their cards to others, I anticipated it to be quite a noisy time. It never was. Why? The moment they received a card from someone, their eyes were magnetically drawn to the compliments written on those cards. They hungered for that validation from their peers.

Our class was always changed from that day forward. We became a community working together, a unit. As a side (but not unimportant) benefit, a bully has a hard time finding a foot hold in a community where everyone has your back.

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

Nov26

Dear Teacher,

Posted on November 26, 2012 by daunaeasley

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A Letter from a Student

When I taught young children I used to receive short love notes from them all the time. They’d tell me that they loved me and insert a picture they had drawn just for me. Little kids would bring me an apple or a flower from their garden. I felt valued and appreciated.

I didn’t believe that would happen when I moved into the high school to teach. But I was wrong. I have 3 ring notebooks full of notes and letters teens wrote to me. There were, of course, some differences. Teens usually dropped a note on my desk quickly when no one else was in the room and then they’d make an exit through the classroom door as fast as they could. Once they believed I truly cared about them, they would pour their hearts out to me. They would write about a crisis in their lives. Or sometimes they’d write to tell me about something I had said or read to them during class and admit how it touched them or encouraged them.

I’m going to share (with the writer’s permission) one of those letters with you. This letter was written by Sarah. Sarah had become a single mom at age sixteen. She was 17 when she wrote this and had been in my classroom for only about 3 months. She was intelligent and caring, but she didn’t trust people very much. She dressed with a flair that usually resulted in her peers categorizing her as someone outside their circle. She might wear a black leather studded collar or bracelet along with a pink tutu on the same day. She had gorgeous strawberry blonde hair that women would pay hundreds of dollars to have created at a salon, but Sarah was apt to have a purple or pink stripe running through hers.

I share this letter humbly, not to boast about my relationship with students, but to help teachers understand what it is that our students really need. Read between the lines and listen to what Sarah desperately wanted.

Dear Mrs. Easley,

“I would truly like to thank you. You are a great inspiration to me and a great role model as well. You have done everything in your life that I would hope to do in mine. You have become an amazing teacher, one who truly touches the lives of many she comes in contact with. You have opened your own school and most importantly you are a dedicated mother to your own children even after they are gone.

Through life I have learned many lessons. I have learned that there are people who will enjoy hurting you, who will enjoy beating you down, who enjoy seeing you cry. But I have also learned you can’t let them stop you. You are your own person, you can do what you wish, you can be who you want and no one can stop you. Your classroom lets me be the person I want to be. You do not judge me. You see my intelligence, not my clothing, you see me. I have never had a teacher say they admire me before, when you did, I felt strong. I have never felt strong.

I’m sorry for the struggles you have had to face. Losing a child is hard. I hope I never have to learn how that feels first hand. But Kelsey would be proud of you. You have become so much to children of all ages. I know I am proud of you. I do not have a mother to fall back on. I don’t have parents that support me, I have ones that push. You encourage me; you know what I am capable of and expect me to show it and know myself.

I love to be myself, but sometimes it’s hard to do. You have let me know that you should never be afraid to be yourself. I hope I can instill that in my daughter. She has helped me to grow so much. How much she has helped me makes me realize why you are such a good teacher; you had your children to help you learn.

I truly hope that one day I can be like you. Just this short time with you has opened my eyes. At first I was not sure about teaching; now I know it is what I have to do. You are an inspiration to your students, Mrs. Easley whether they realize this now or not. You have instilled lessons in us that at this time may seem pointless but later will show such immense value. Thanks to your class. Thanks to your stories, I really know I can make a difference, like the one you have made with me.

I cannot entirely describe my gratitude through a letter so attached is a poem, one that I have written just for you, describing the feelings I hold toward you now.

Thank you,

Sarah

A mother never wanted me

A family threw me away

I was lost in apathy

Not wanting to survive each day.

School became the home I wanted

Books my seclusion

Writing as my outlet

Loving the illusion

I may not fully thrive at this

But nor do I fail

I only use it to find myself

And with that I do prevail.

A classroom like this

Makes me feel unharmed

A place where I feel welcomed

Where I need not feel alarmed.

People welcome me everyday

Faces painted up with smiles

Giving me encouragement

Helping me through painful miles.

They do not know all my struggles,

But they have let me know

That they are here for me

To help me all the way I have to go.

You have helped me the most

Showing me encouragement and light,

Giving me a warming smile

To let me know what’s right.

Learning from your experiences

As I have learned from mine

Mothers and teachers alike

We are two of a kind.

I feel like I connect with you

We express ourselves the same

To others school is work

To me it is a game.

Nothing compared to the outside world

It is easy within these walls

You either succeed or you fail

Outside few hear your calls.

You have made me realize

I should learn as I go

Teaching me of both school and reality

I now know what I need to know.

Thank you…

Teens take writing notes to their teacher to a whole new powerful level. If you let them know that they matter to you, they will, sooner or later, make you aware of how much they appreciate your commitment to them. I didn’t read Sarah’s note without tears. Can you imagine how many times I’ve read it? On those tough days, it became a beacon to me. It touched me so much, that when I wrote my book TEACH…To Change Lives I included her letter in my book (after receiving her permission, of course). Using Sarah’s words helps me encourage teachers. It reminds them of the important role they play in their students’ lives. You see I honestly do believe that we teach to change lives.

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

(or in quantities from the author at dauna@cinci.rr.com)

Nov19

Ten Great Things About Teens

Posted on November 19, 2012 by daunaeasley

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What I Love About Teens

First a confession. I taught elementary students for more than twenty years before I moved into the high school setting. At that point in my life, teens scared me to death. They seemed to have raging hormones, defiant attitudes, piercings, tattoos, too-tight clothes or pants falling off them. And worse, they didn’t like their teachers. My elementary kids loved me. I felt sorry for high school teachers. Then I became one. I was scared to death. Yeah, there were some rough moments. But here are the qualities I learned to love and admire about teens.

They laugh easily. They can laugh about absolutely nothing and then laugh at the fact that they are laughing about nothing. Being around young people who joke and laugh is refreshing. It makes me remember the joy of silliness simply for the sake of silliness. Laughing feels good.
They are young enough to question what is right and wrong. As we get older we tend to accept things that are unjust. We’ve seen unfair situations and have grown to tolerate them. Young people are looking at these situations with newer eyes. They help us question the status quo. They change things because they still believe they can. They help me believe I too can change situations that are unjust.
Teens are hopeful. Their whole life is before them. They are excited about all the possibilities. They help me become more courageous and optimistic about the future. Their hope is contagious.
Teens understand technology. Boy do they! They’ve been immersed in technology for their whole short lives. But here is the really wonderful part. They will share that expertise with you. My favorite teens, of course, were the ones who would assist me with technology issues without teasing me about my slight ineptitude in that area. I’ve learned so much from them as I taught them. It was a symbiotic relationship. It was teens who encouraged me to blog. They believed I had something of value to share with others.
Teens have great passion. They are ‘all hands on deck’ when they take on a project of their choice. They volunteer to take on huge tasks without even questioning the magnitude of it. As we get older, we tend to stop and think, “Do I really have time for this?” Teens can often accomplish amazing feats because they just go forth and do.
I love their resiliency. I’ve watched teens who lived in some very challenging situations accept adult responsibilities and handle them better than a lot of adults. Usually no one knows their circumstances. They raise younger siblings, pay household bills, moderate difficult situations at home, or deal with a parent fighting an addiction. Some have an absent or unknown parent (or parents) and they accept the parent role long before their chronological age identifies them as such.
Teens are generous. They will take in a friend, buy someone’s lunch, care about the homeless, volunteer in a soup kitchen or rake leaves for the elderly. Unfortunately you won’t see these stories in the media. But I’ve been on the front lines and have witnessed it again and again.
When I taught young children they used to write me little notes. Dear Mrs. Easley, I love you. Do you love me? Check yes ___ or no___. They’d draw me a picture or bring me a flower or an apple. I knew I would miss those notes when I moved to high school. I was wrong. I have a giant 3 ring notebook full of notes, cards and some pretty lengthy letters teens have written to me. I have many more letters and notes that won’t fit into that notebook. There are, however, a few differences in high schooler’s written communication. They usually drop them on your desk privately on their way out the door when no one is looking. But if they trust you, many will pour their hearts out on paper in great detail. They will share their worries and also tell you how much you mean to them.
They will remember you. There is a fast turn around with teens. Almost immediately after they leave high school (or your home), they value you. They send you emails, call you, and will meet you for lunch. I taught so many preschoolers, kindergarteners and first graders. Do they remember me? I’m not sure. I know I remember them. The moment teens toss their graduation hats into the air, they begin to remember you fondly and seek out your advice. Some realize this even sooner.
Teens are loyal beyond belief. If you care about them they will care about you. Your age doesn’t matter. They will shun your enemies and fight battles for you whether you want them to or not. Teens may test you a little initially, but once they know you truly care about them, they will challenge anyone who seeks to harm you.

My best advice for working with teens? Ignore the sagging pants, the sometimes surly early morning attitudes, and the crazy styles of the day. Look beneath the pink hair and beyond the melt down of the moment. Focus on the best qualities you find in the teens you love. What we focus on will grow. Visualize the success that you can see in their future and describe it to them. Young people often first recognize their talents and visualize their future success when it is pointed out to them by someone they love and respect. Are you that person?

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

Nov12

Teachers Create the Classroom

Posted on November 12, 2012 by daunaeasley

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The Teacher Makes the Choice

One of my all time favorite quotes for teachers was written by Dr. Haim Ginott and comes from his book Between Teacher and Child.

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child’s like miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized.”

Oh, how I wish I had written that myself. I am so grateful that someone did. The book, Between Teacher and Child is around forty years old and yet contains advice that is timeless.

A Great Measuring Stick

It IS our personal approach that creates the climate in the classroom. Do we provide a welcoming presence. Are we pleasant and approachable? Can students trust our moods? Or are we the grinch that only smiles twice a year. We honestly do have the power to make a student’s life joyous or miserable. We teachers have had teachers too. We all can remember a teacher who was a tool of torture. We’ve all had a teacher who honestly was an instrument of inspiration.

A word of caution here: A teacher cannot truly be an instrument of inspiration if they are a tool of torture to only one or two students. Students are always watching. I believe they judge teachers on the way they treat the most challenging child in the class.

I’ve been sitting in high school teacher cafeterias and listened to something a teacher said to a student that made me wonder who was the adult in the classroom. Trying to “one up” a student who has just made an inappropriate comment in class is a losing proposition for any teacher. Professionalism goes out the window. Sometimes it is tough to listen, absorb, and under-react but retaliating an inappropriate comment with a sarcastic one, only escalates the negative. It may feel like a win in the short term, but it is a long term loss.

I chose a lighthouse to illustrate this point for a reason. Lighthouses demonstrate their real worth during inclement times. So do teachers. It’s easy to be a good teacher when everything is going smoothly. But great teachers reveal themselves during the tough times.

A teenager stands up and yells profanities at you in class, then stomps out slamming the door on their way out of the room. (Yes, this has happened in my classroom). What do you do? The choice is yours. Do you escalate the situation or attempt to de-escalate it? Before you make your choice, take a deep breath and then pause. Every student will be watching your reaction. You are the beacon in this moment. Will you dehumanize the student? A teen is a child with longer legs, raging hormones and often tumultuous emotions. You are the adult. What you do next defines you as a teacher.

TEACH…To Change Lives

Available at Amazon.com

Nov5

How to Stop a School Bully

Posted on November 5, 2012 by daunaeasley

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When They Don’t Want to Go to School

Twenty-five years ago my oldest daughter was in junior high school. I sensed something wasn’t just right because she didn’t want to go to school. The school nurse also frequently called me telling me that my daughter was in the clinic claiming to be ill. I’d turn my schedule upside down in my own classroom where I was teaching to go and pick her up only to realize with a mother’s instinct that she really wasn’t sick at all. She just wanted to come home.

Finally one day, even though she tried to continue to mask her situation, her secrets exploded at home and the truth came out. Some girls were targeting her at school. On the day that she couldn’t take it anymore the bullies had gotten her locker combination out of the counselor’s file drawer where they worked as ‘aides’ to the counselors instead of being assigned to study hall. They used the confidential combination to open my daughter’s locker, and then dumped all her books and belongings in the restroom sink. Then they turned on the water and left them there for others to discover as the sink overflowed. Someone came to find my daughter and asked her why all her belongings were being flooded in the girl’s restroom. They assumed she caused the flood. That’s when she broke down at home. She was afraid she would get in trouble for the restroom flood. She was afraid if she revealed who really did it, they would pick on her more.

She sobbed as she told me this story. But at the very same time she pleaded harder for my silence and made me promise not to go to school and talk to anyone about it. She swore that administrators and teachers loved these girls. They had everyone fooled. She was sure no one would believe her. If I went to school and “told on them” they’d know my daughter had told someone their identity and that would only escalate what they would do to her. Unfortunately I knew that this was (at that time) probably true.

These tormentors were the original ‘mean girls.’ They preceded the internet by fifteen years. Imagine the trouble they could cause cyber-bullying today. Clearly they showed one personality to adults or they wouldn’t have had access to the counselor’s files. (Of course, this isn’t at all professional and they were probably sneaking to do this). But their true identity was revealed to their peers, especially to those who felt powerless to stand up to them. To the masses they were the ‘popular’ girls.

What Did I Do About It?

The first thing I did was toss and turn all night. I lost quite a bit of sleep trying to figure out how to handle this situation. She’d made me promise her I wouldn’t go to school or tell anyone. If I did, would the situation escalate? She was certain it would. Would my daughter ever trust me again if I broke my promise? Would she be willing to share her problems with me in the future?

What did I do? I went to school, of course. To my credit I didn’t take a weapon. As I tossed and turned I remembered that I had formerly taught with the assistant principal’s mother in another school district. She and I were no longer in touch, but it was at least an opening. I sneaked into that assistant principal’s office when I knew my daughter would be in class. I told him I knew his mother and how I knew her. (That shouldn’t have made any difference, but somehow it made me feel better). I then told him that my daughter had made me promise that I would not come to school and let anyone know what she was experiencing. I demanded his promise that she would never find out I had come. He said he would honor that request.

Then I described what was happening. I told him I couldn’t figure out how to handle it. If I called these girls’ parents, would that make it worse? Probably. The girls would deny all of it to their parents. I’ve known of parents who do this, but it never felt comfortable to me. I told him I saw it as a school problem and I asked him what he was going to do to solve it without my daughter knowing I had come in. But I let him know in no uncertain terms that I expected it to be solved quickly and discreetly.

Guess What?

We brainstormed together. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to do something that would put my daughter in a more uncomfortable situation. He came up with a wonderful idea which became the perfect solution.

What did he do? He sought my daughter out in the cafeteria. He told her one of her teachers had told him what a great gal she was. He asked her if she could help him with a project. In his role as assistant principal in this school he also served as athletic director. That put him in charge of all athletic functions. He immediately put her in charge of a concession stand. She was surprised to be sought out and valued by the assistant principal. He would talk to her frequently in the halls and the cafeteria just being friendly. She began going to all the games and functions. She had a talent for this and wanted to live up to his confidence in her. Soon she took on more and more responsibilities. He had other students report to her putting her in a leadership role.

What happened to the bullies? They saw the assistant principal talking to her frequently. He was well liked by the students. When they saw that he valued her, they stopped making her a target. It was a subtle but perfect solution. She stopped hating school. She felt accepted and valued at school both during the day and at after school functions.

Did she ever find out that I went to school? Eventually. But let me tell you how it happened. When my daughter (yes, the same one) had her own preteen daughter attending the same junior high school, she talked to me on the phone one day. This is what she said. “The school nurse is always calling me telling me that my daughter is sick. I know she has been having headaches, but I think something else is going on. I just don’t think she feels comfortable in this junior high setting. Every morning she pretends to be sick and tries to stay home from school. I just don’t know what to do about it.”

I paused a long time and then I said, “Do you want to know what I did about it when I had that same problem?” There was a long silence on the phone. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I reminded her of the situation she encountered in junior high and confessed to the promise I had broken. She was astonished, but by then, of course, not annoyed at all. The next day she marched right into that junior high, asked to see a guidance counselor and said, “My daughter doesn’t want to come to school. She just can’t seem to find a place to fit in here. How can you and I help her? Before she left the school, the guidance counselor had promised to seek her out and make her a photographer for the year book committee.

My granddaughter called me that night. She was all excited about this new responsibility. We bought her a digital camera and she was off to all the games and school functions. This time there wasn’t a specific bully that we knew of. I think we solved the problem more proactively before she became the target her mom had become.

When kids feel connected and valued, it goes a long way toward taking the power away from a bully. I’m glad for all today’s bully hot lines. and the anti-bullying workshops and strategies taught currently. These are long overdue.

But I am still continually amazed at the power of one teacher, one peer, one administrator, or one role model. When I approached that administrator he knew exactly what to do. He had the sensitivity and the influence to turn it all around very quickly. Adults within our schools have a lot more influence than they would ever believe. I’ve built wonderful friendships with students in the schools where I’ve taught who were never assigned to my class. You can build positive relationships with kids in the hallways, standing duty, at athletic functions or walking through the cafeteria.

I challenge every teacher to pick at least a dozen kids in the school building that you don’t have in class and focus positive attention on them. Don’t seek out a ‘star.’ Choose a kid who appears to be on the sidelines. Choose someone who looks like they need a friend. Choose someone dressed differently. Smile and speak to them consistently. Can you imagine what a positive difference we would make in our buildings if we all committed to this strategy? Why not try it? What do we have to lose? A bully?