May21

Don’t Ever Do This

Posted on by
Don’t Ever Do This

don't ever do thisBad Idea

I was a teacher for decades.  So I know a bad idea when I hear one.  As bad ideas go, this one was a whopper.  My high school students were brainstorming trying to come up with a fun activity for one of our Future Educators Association meetings.  Everything I suggested was rejected.  They wanted something new and exciting.  I thought my ideas were creative.  They looked at me like I was twice baked boredom in a casserole dish.

“I know,” said one of them, “Let’s have a paint fight!”

“Wrong!” I proclaimed loudly as they cheered right over the top of my voice.  “BAD idea!” I repeated even more loudly when their cheering died down. They begged.  They pleaded.  They gave me rationale after rationale.  I rejected every plea and promise they made.  I wasn’t born yesterday.  I talked about safety, the mess, the pandemonium,  the lunacy, the clean up and the liability.  I was eloquent.

Eventually they gave up.  NOT!  This argument and plea bargaining went on for months.  On and on they argued.  I said we couldn’t possibly do it at school.  They said we could go to a park.  I pointed out what the park personnel would think about us messing up their property and the court case that would follow.  I talked about how it would ruin their clothes.  They claimed we could make paint shirts.  I said that would be fine.  They said, “But only if we are wearing the shirts when we throw the paint to make them.”  NO!   Back to square one.  This argument became the theme for the year.

After months of debate two things finally happened.  They came up with an answer to every objection and I totally lost my mind…simultaneously.  The end of the school year arrived. Some crazy wonderful parents volunteered their home which had a large empty field behind it.  They had a power sprayer for clean up and then a pool for further cool off and a grill for cooking a picnic while the shirts dried.  The plan was on.    We all purchased black t-shirts.  Each student was to bring in two or three colors of paint in plastic bottles. The brighter the better.  It was a neon kind of a day.

The attendance?  You guessed it.  100%!

The smartest girl of the day was Erica.  She showed up with wearing swim goggles.  Why didn’t I think of that?  Don’t EVER try this activity without requiring goggles. I can’t claim that I was smart enough to outlaw this event.  BUT I was smart enough to clip my shirt to the clothes line and tell them to decorate it as it hung on the line.  Meanwhile I stood close to the pool and told them that NO PAINT could enter the pool area.  I gave them a half-dozen rules which they promptly ignored and yelled,  “GO!”

a bad idea

There was laughing, screaming, running, pandemonium and the biggest mess you ever saw in the vacant field. Two wonderful parents stayed patient and laughed through all of this.  They spent forever spraying them off with the power washer.  Some students had to even use their indoor showers to keep the paint from coloring their hair permanently.   Results?  No one was hurt.  It is a favorite memory of everyone including me.

Every time I paint anything I grin as I wear my crazy paint shirt souvenir of that day.  My grandkids always admire my shirt.  They want one just like it.  I’ve already bought the black shirts.  Guess what I’m going to do with my grandkids on the first day of summer vacation?  But NO they won’t be wearing the shirts when they splatter the paint.  A gal can only take one adventure with that much insanity.

May14

Moments Matter

Posted on by
Moments Matter

Making the Most of Moments

I’ve heard it said that we don’t remember days, we remember moments.  As I think back over my own life I believe that’s true.  The good news is moments take less time than elaborate events and time is a commodity most of us have in short supply.  Most moments that mean much to us simply evolve spontaneously.  But as we build a life of value, embracing the moments when they happen means a great deal.

I remember one significant moment in my life that didn’t even involve a single word. My youngest daughter, Kelsey endured two long battles with cancer.  During her second battle in her teen years while I drove her to the hospital for treatments, I knew she was uptight about all that would transpire, though she never would verbalize her fears.

I fell into the habit of putting my hand on her knee as we drove to the hospital.  One time as we drove there I was lost in my own silent thoughts of dread and I didn’t put my hand on her knee.  After a while she quietly picked up my hand and placed it on her knee.  No words at all.  But we were then connected.  She was telling me she was scared but didn’t want to talk about it. She was telling me that she needed me present with her. It was a moment I will never forget.

Another lighter moment happened in my classroom as I was preparing my teen students to go on a trip out-of-town for an educational conference.  I spoke to them seriously about our upcoming stay in a hotel.  No one was ever to be in the hotel hallway alone.

“Even if you are just going for a bucket of ice, you must have a partner with you,”  I warned.  “Never talk to strangers or enter the room of someone you’ve just met no matter how nice they seem.” I continued sternly.  The atmosphere was very sober as I wanted it to be.

At precisely that moment there was a knock on my classroom door.  A man wearing the uniform of the technology department whom I had never seen before, was looking for the room which housed the media brain of our building.  That particular door is somewhat hidden.  You must pass through another room that has no posted room number in order to find it.  I tried to describe the process to him, but he was still confused.  I stepped outside my classroom, walked a few feet down the hall, opened the unmarked door and escorted him inside to point out the door he was trying to find.  I was back in my classroom in seconds.

One of my female students with a gleam in her eye said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Easley.  Didn’t we just see you leave your friends and go into a room with a strange man who you didn’t even know?”  I tried to stay serious but the whole classroom dissolved into laughter.  What followed was an out-and-out giggle fit that went on and on.  Every time I tried to get the class back on track someone would start laughing again, usually me.

It was a spontaneous moment that none of us will ever forget.  I’m sure long after I’m dead and buried if those students get together to talk about old times, one of them will say, “Do you remember the time Mrs. Easley left the class and went off with a strange man?”  And they’ll laugh again.

What makes me proud?  I was “present” in those moments.  I connected with Kelsey’s message when she needed me.  And I collapsed in laughter when that was the only response needed.  I embraced the moments.  That’s why those moments will live forever.

This is an excerpt taken from my upcoming book:    Teach     To Change Lives 

May8

A Kick in the Pants

Posted on by
A Kick in the Pants

Sharing Talents

I have a lovely friend named Candy, who I met in college at Miami University too many decades ago.  I always admired her and wanted to get a little closer, but I did something really stupid.  I got too busy with life and didn’t pursue a friendship my instincts told me would be valuable.  I’m sure none of you are stupid enough to have ever done this.  But I can be short-sighted like that.

Don’t let the picture scare you.  Candy, fortunately didn’t die.  I’ll tell you about the tombstone in a minute. When I retired from teaching last year I finally had my second chance to reconnect with Candy.  I got just a little bit smarter and I did it.  I found an email address in an old Christmas letter and I contacted her.  We have been exchanging enjoyable emails for over a year and catching up on our lives.  What a lovely gift I gave myself at this point in my life.

Discovering Treasures

One of the wonderful talents I rediscovered in Candy was her writing.  She is simply a beautiful writer.  I’ve complimented her on her writing style frequently and encouraged her to share her talent with others.  Candy was an only child and confided that she really wanted to write stories about her parents.  They are both gone now and she realized if she didn’t write about them, who would ever know them once she was gone?  Memories of them would be lost to the world.  But this wonderful friend is something of a perfectionist.  She is her own worst critic.  Too many of us do that to ourselves.  Don’t we?  If these stories couldn’t be absolutely perfect, she told herself, “Why begin?”

That is when her annoying friend, (yep,me) after reading one more delightful email from Candy complimented her one more time on her writing and then posed this tactless question.  “Do you really want to take this talent to the cemetery with you without sharing it with anyone?”  See tombstone above.  Oh, I can be such a thoughtless and undiplomatic nag when I spot a buried treasure.   It’s that somewhat ‘tact free’ approach to kicking people in the pants that made me a good teacher.  

Guess what?  I don’t remember using that sentence on her.  But she just sent it back to me yesterday.  It was pretty embarrassing to realize how I had worded that challenge.  But I forgive myself, because she has started to write wonderful stories about her parents.  It worked.  Her parents are reborn as she makes them come alive in her writings. 

So now, I’m asking you.  “What talent do YOU have that you are saving for the cemetery? Is that really the best use of your talents?”  Of course, none of us plan to take our talents to the grave.  Would it take a terminal diagnosis to get you going?  What are you gonna’ do about sharing those talents today?  I’m here to nag you just a little bit about it. 

This week in addition to my blogs, I’ve written two pieces I’ve submitted for a writer’s contest and a publication.  I might not win.  They might not print my work.  Rejection isn’t fun.  In fact, rejection stings.  But picturing that cemetery keeps me trying. What about you?

May2

Breakthrough: Change Something

Posted on by
Breakthrough: Change Something

Change Something

After my public humiliation of admitting on my blog post that I had gained weight this month, I’ve been trying to think/act in a new way.  What is there to learn about weight, dieting, exercise, blah, blah, de-blah, blah, blah, that I don’t already know?

Almost nothing.  So sad, but true.  I admitted at the onset of this battle that I believe the lion’s share of my struggle is mental.  I know what to eat or not eat.  I know to exercise.  But I fall off the food wagon like a drunken pumpkin when it comes to staying the course for a long ride. BUT I have to just keep trying to beat this.  I refuse to throw in the towel and let it beat me again.

Swallowing Pride

So as I worked out this morning I stewed about it.  My local Curves owner, Mindy, is someone I admire for lots of reasons.  She is upbeat every morning.  The way she leads her Zumba class, I think she has some kind of an extra hinge in her mid section or something. Maybe her pelvic bone is double jointed. Is that possible?  Her gym shoes and socks always coordinate with her clothes.  (I work out in a black man’s t-shirt every day).

Those are all impressive qualities, but they aren’t the BIG reasons I admire her.  I heard from someone else (not her) that she has lost 100 pounds.  She has two sons in college so she isn’t a twenty-something-lost-weight-once-expert.  Even more a mystery to me, she lost this significant weight in stages.  She would lose 20 – 30 pounds and then maintain it for quite a while.  Then she would decide to tackle another 20.  It took her maybe a decade, but she did it a chunk at a time.  Maintaining is the big mystery word to me.  I can gain.  Wow, can I gain.  I can lose.  Honestly, I can lose.  I find it easier to eat nothing than to eat reasonably.

 But I am the original yo-yo mama when it comes to the scales.

 This morning I waited until she was alone and asked her how in the world she was able to maintain her weight on the way down, as she plateaued several times.  I confessed my inability to maintain.  We talked for maybe ten minutes.  She gave me several nuggets to take away.  I needed her encouragement and conversation today.  Was it anything earth shatteringly new?  Probably not.  But each time someone tells us something, we are capable of hearing it in a different way.  Here are some of the things she said.

  • Each time she determined to lose her next hunk of weight she had to try something new.  One time she lost weight with those old Jane Fonda videos.
  • She asked if I was drinking lots of water.  I admitted I had done that back in January and February, but gradually had stopped doing that routinely.
  • She suggested this week my goal would be to start drinking the water again.  I’ve started that today.
  • She said try to add in one change per week.
  • Next week keep drinking the water, and work out on the machines differently.  She suggested how to do that.
  • Maybe the following week add in a walk each day…even if it is for only 10 minutes.
  • She restated, “Just change something.”  Every time she dieted and exercised herself down another 20 pounds she did it a little bit differently.
  • I’ve fought weight enough to see the truth and sense of this in my own life.  It’s like our body becomes immune to our efforts and we have to rethink how to trick it into doing what we want it to do all over again.

I realize none of this is earth shattering.  However, it was just what I needed today to get going again.  A hook to hang my hope on.  It helped me so I thought it might help you too. Who was it that said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing what we’ve always done and expect to get different results?   My two words for this week are…

Change Something !!

                                 

May1

Breakthrough

Posted on by
Breakthrough

Breakthrough

My loyal followers (bless you) know that I have dedicated this year of 2012 to breakthrough hurdles in three important areas of my life.   Those areas are    1. Technology phobia.   2.  Exercise     3.  Significant weight loss

All of these are areas in which I have had marginal success in the past.  However, significant breakthrough success has eluded me. First let me say I can tell that I have hit a nerve when I publish about this struggle.  Why?  Because on the last day of each month the ‘hits’ on my blog site jump way up whether I have published anything or not.  I know all of us struggle with particular issues that seem to beat us over and over again no matter what our initial commitment. I know you are rooting for me.

Some Good News

First let me talk about successes this month

    • My ebook and the print book version of Caregiving Elderly Parents have both been published and are available on Amazon.com.  Hooray!
    • Testimonials are starting to roll in.
    • My co-author, Marky Olson, and I are so proud of the way this book will help and encourage others.
    • This accomplishment required me to continually breakthrough my technology phobia.
    • I have learned about formatting for ebooks, blogging, rudiments of facebook, using drop box, attending webinars, using Search Engine Optimization, and countless other techie skills.
    • I’m very close to publishing my second book and ebook for teachers.

Breakdowns in Breakthroughs

I HATE to Admit this Publicly

But

Oh, how I am struggling in the other two areas of exercise and weight loss.  The worst news is that I have actually gained weight this month.  Yep.  There it is.  Right out there.  Why did I think this was a good idea to promise monthly updates?  Why did I want to make this battle so public when I have failed so many times before?  Temporary insanity is all I can figure.

My exercise commitment was also down this month.  In the past three months I was exercising a minimum of 20 times per month/5 days per week.  This month I only exercised 11 times.  Funny how that weight thing and that exercise thing go together.  No.  I don’t believe it is because exercise causes me to burn that many calories.  I think it’s more an issue of when one thing breaks down, I’m just so tempted to throw in the towel on both.  I have such an all-or-nothing personality.  I have fought that tendency all my life.

Back to Good News

Yep.  There is some good news.  I’m re-committing myself to my original breakthrough mentality.  I refuse to give in!

  • Yes!  It will be harder.
  • Yes, now I have to recover ground I’ve already lost.
  • BUT….and this is a big BUT….I know if I don’t do this now,  what the outcome will be.
  • I also know exactly why I gained weight.  It was no mystery.  I ate too much and the wrong things.
  • I either recommit right now or face long-term failure…again.  Unfortunately in the case of weight and exercise…this is a past habit I MUST breakthrough.
  • I’m asking you to hang in there with me for one more month.  Surely I’d be too embarrassed to admit another breakdown.
  • Pray.  Cheer.  Encourage.  Hope.  Cross your fingers.  Think positive thoughts.  Send me an encouraging comment. Please.
  • I REFUSE to let this beat me again.
  • REFUSE !
  • Someday I want to get an author’s photo taken to put on these books I’m writing.  (But not yet)
Apr27

Celebrate

Posted on by
Celebrate

   Celebrate

Today is a celebration.  My finished book written with co-author Marky Olson is now officially on Amazon.com.  Hooray!  I have written one book (Teachers Touch Eternity) previously, but have never had a book marketed through Amazon. I’m excited about the possibilities of people being able to access the book worldwide.  It is offered in print format and also as an ebook.

The title of the book is Caregiving Elderly Parents.  It is a book of personal stories about helping our elderly parents through the aging process.  My co-author, Marky, is a long time friend who lives two thousand miles away in Seattle.  We have written the entire book collaborating through phone conferences and webinars.  I’ve never written with a partner before and found the experience quite wonderful.  Marky and I took turns encouraging one another.  We bounced ideas around until we came up with a format which we believe will be a wonderful benefit to all readers.

We discovered that all four of our parents faced the challenges of aging in different ways.  We appoached each aspect of aging with personal stories so that I believe the final product is infomative, inspiring, encouraging and even entertaining.  I’m including a link to my other blog site which provides a way to link to Amazon to see the book and ebook version.  The ebook version will also soon be available for nook and ipads.   I hope you’ll take a look at it and recommend it to your friends.     http://caregivingelderlyparents.com/

Setting Goals

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I possess quite a bit of initiative.  I’m a goal setter. I’m a self starter who won’t quit.   I can break down the steps to a goal.  I am more than willing to climb those steps one at a time.  No one has to encourage me.  I make my list, sometimes with a timeline and I’m completely self-driven.

However, I’m guilty of a big mistake. I don’t celebrate when I achieve an accomplishment.  Isn’t that something of a sad admission?  But it’s true.  I’m a worker bee.  Every day I have a list.  My list today includes ten pretty ambitious items.  Writing this blog is only one of them today.  But then when I accomplish something big…like actually seeing my book complete and listed on Amazon, I’m too frequently just right onto the next task.

So today I’m asking all of you to celebrate with me.  Make me party a little. Pop a cork!  Blow up balloons.  Throw some confetti.  Jump up and down.  Your blog friend, Dauna Easley, has a book on Amazon.com.  Yippee  !!   Woo-hoo !!  We did it !!

Apr16

How It Used to Be

Posted on by
How It Used to Be

The Good Old Days

how things used to beA confession.  I’ve reached that age at which I have to guard myself against talking too much about the ‘Good ‘Ol Days’.  I remember when I was much younger, how we used to feel about the old geezers who would talk too much about just how great things ‘used to be’.  We’d roll our eyes and promise ourselves we would never bore the world with talking on and on about how much better things were back then.

But be patient with me for just a moment.  Remember when we could pay just a couple of dollars and pile a big family or a whole group of kids into one car and go to the Drive-In movie?  Ahhhh, those really were some good old days.  There was a playground up front to play on before the movie.  We’d see at least two full features with some cartoons in between.  You could bring your popcorn or buy a bucket of it buttered in the concession stand.  All this fun with nothing but the stars for our ceiling…fabulous memory.

The Good New Days

BUT wait a minute.  Were the good old days really as great as we remember?  Let me think back just a little.  I remember some things not so fondly.  I remember…

  • Having to hang all the clothes, sheets, towels and cloth diapers on a clothesline outside, even in the winter time.  Today I press a button to dry.
  • Spending all day Saturday defrosting the refrigerator while water dripped on the kitchen floor before you could put the groceries away.
  • Paying a long distance phone charge to call someone who lived ten miles down the road.  Now I can call them from my purse to their pocket all the way across the United States and beyond.
  • Why DID we pay all those long distance charges for all those years?  No wonder AT&T was always considered a great stock to buy back in the good old days.
  • Sleeping all night long with orange juice cans all over my head in order to make my hair look good for a couple of hours.
  • Buying an airmail stamp to send a letter across a couple of states to arrive several days later,  instead of emailing or texting, for an immediate response.
  • If you were dating a soldier, he was truly out of contact for weeks or months.  No daily skype messages then.
  • Your boyfriend couldn’t afford to call you.  We had to write letters.
  • Using carbon paper and a tedious process to correct a mistake made on a typewriter, rather than just tapping the ‘delete’ button.
  • Watching three television stations instead of having a choice of hundreds.
  • Three or four static filled radio stations that had to be changed routinely as you traveled.  Oh, how I love my satellite radio where I control what I want to hear. Oh how I love my CD player in my car.
  • Publishers who used to decide all the reading material that would be available for everyone.   How I would miss my blog, my email friends, and the ability to publish independently.

Occasionally it IS still fun to talk about the good old days, when everyone knew everybody else who lived in our town.  But I have to admit I’m glad that I’ve reached this particular age I’ve reached, at a time when I can easily stay connected with my friends through my computer or cell phone.  I’m chatting online routinely with people I haven’t seen in years.  And I’ve just written an e-book with a friend who lives 2,000 miles away.  I love it.

I’m glad my elderly mother has handicapped access to most stores and businesses where they provide her a close parking spot and an electric cart for shopping.  She’s not cooped up in the house like my great-grandmother was back in the good old days.  Yeah, Mom still talks about The Good Old Days, but you and I just roll our eyes and know the truth.  These are some pretty great New Days too.

Apr9

Baseball: The Game of Life

Posted on by
Baseball: The Game of Life

Baseball Mirrors Life

Road trip!  Is there anything better?  I love to just get in my car and drive out-of-town for a few days.  But…

Yes!  There is something better than just a road trip.  You can have the opportunity to take a road trip to beautiful Tennessee in the spring.  Green rolling hills and blooming trees will treat your eyes. Flowers everywhere and southern hospitality abound.

But it gets even better than that.  My road trip involved watching my grandson play baseball with his high school team.  My car included a granddaughter who was a great companion as we spent more than ten hours on the road together.  Bliss.

Life is a Baseball Game

Sometime during this wonderful three days of watching an exciting baseball tournament, it occurred to me how much baseball mirrors our lives.  In fact, our lives, if we live them fully, have all the elements of the great American pastime.

How so?  In every life there are those times we are forced to sit the bench.  It’s frustrating.  We’re aching to get in the game.  Can’t ‘they’ see our talents? We want to play, but for a while our role is to sit the bench and cheer the team on.

That happens in life too.  We see a position we want, but someone else is chosen for the job.  It hurts.  What’s important about bench time is our attitude.  Do we spend time preparing for our next opportunity?  Are we watching the game to check out the pitches?  In the work place are we checking out the climate and learning how to become more effective?  Or are we just sulking and having a pity party?  If we’re honest with ourselves, I think we’d have to admit, that we’ve all done a little bit of both.

In the Batter’s Box

Finally, we get our chance.  Someone gives us a nod and we step up to it.   Is there any place more frightening than the batter’s box?  There you are, all alone, every eye in the stadium is focused on you.  Half are cheering, the other half jeering.  The batter’s box is fraught with opportunity and humiliation in equal parts.  You’re armed with nothing but a stick, your confidence, and preparation.

Life is the same.  We train and wait our turn.  When our chance comes it always takes a lot of courage to step up to the plate.  It’s one thing to think and even boast that we have the skills.  It’s quite another to step up and make decisions, take the reins, and hope your ideas will work.  Always there will be people wishing you success but others waiting and ready to point out your shortcomings.  The only ‘safe’ place is the bench.  But we’ve been on the bench and it doesn’t feel good there.

In the batter’s box we have to DO something.  Sure we can wait and hope the pitch will be off target and the umpire will actually see the miss and call it a ball.  But nothing is worse than standing there and having the guy behind the plate call it a strike.  Nothing is worse than a missed opportunity.  If you swing and miss, sure everyone will know you tried and failed.  But if you don’t swing, they’ll know you didn’t even try.  What is worse than not even having the guts to try?

Is there anyone who can look back on life and not recognize and regret a missed opportunity?  Not me.  In retrospect, they glare at you.  Yes, swinging and missing is embarrassing.  But only not swinging at all is humiliating.  Long lives teach you that.

I have two granddaughters who tried out for something once and didn’t get picked.  They swear they will never try out again.  That’s when parents and grandparents have to become coaches and help them understand the honor and possibilities of taking risks.  We have to explain that growth and triumphs only follow failures and the courage to try again.  They won’t believe you the first time.  Be willing to share stories of your failures and watch them grin as you sprinkle a little courage back into them.

Nine innings of baseball mimics most of life. You hit a foul ball?  It’s the opportunity to adjust and try again.  You’re off course, but still in the game.  The pitch hits you?  Ouch.  But it works in favor of the team.

An injury takes you out of the game?  At some point life will do the same to you.  You’ll lose a job unfairly.  Someone you love will disappear. It’s what we do after the heartbreak that reveals who we really are.  We can become an inspiration to all as we fight our way back. Only people who have been through tough situations can inspire others.  We can return better than ever.  Or we can find a better job or someone to love who is more loyal.  A chunk of coal becomes a diamond only under pressure.

But in almost every game there are the opportunities for greatness.  Someone on the other team hits a ball no one expects anyone to catch.  Even you know it is way too high or too far to retrieve, but you run all out and jump and stretch as far as you can and then feel it in your glove.  It’s your ESPN moment.

Life gives all of us ESPN opportunities, but we won’t get there without stretching. Life is hard work.  You have to pursue something even when it seems an impossibility.

My parents always told me I was going to college.  But when the time came the money wasn’t there.  I was very aware my mom could borrow money (which I would pay back) for only two years of college.  Even this was a sacrifice for my mom who was earning a secretary’s pay and would be paying the interest on the loan for those two years.   But I wanted to teach which required a four-year degree.  What were my choices?  I earned a four-year degree in two years.  The question always becomes, “How much do you want it?”

Baseball IS Life

baseball is lifeFinally it all comes together.  The months of practice before and after school click.  Your bat hits the ball in the sweet spot and as you hear the contact you know it has the possibility to go over the wall.  Even if it doesn’t soar out of the park,  it will give your teammates who are standing on base the chance to score.  You are a contributor.  You’ve made a difference.  You… in that moment… understand that all the self discipline served a purpose.

Life is the same.  The harder we work the greater our chances of success.  The more setbacks we overcome, the more we grow into and stronger than our next challenge.  And believe me, in life, challenges are always coming. We have to be courageous enough to take the risk of failure to accomplish great things.

Good luck, Lakota East Thunderhawks!  Your fans will be cheering you on from the sidelines.

Apr1

Breakthrough Update

Posted on by
Breakthrough Update

                        Breakthrough

                                                        Update for March

Loyal readers (thank you!) are aware that I have made a resolution to make 2012 a year in which I actually confront some of the areas in my life which have been evading long term success.

Sure, I’ve made many attempts on them before, and some minor progress, but they still stymied me.  Progress has always been slight or when progress was great in these areas, an almost immediate downward spiral would follow.

My three areas of long term concern are technology phobia, much needed significant weight loss,  and a regular exercise regimen.  These are three VERY challenging issues for me.  Many days I think I was nuts to try and tackle all three at the same time.

What was even more reckless?  I decided to make this battle public (well at least to my blog world).  What was I thinking when I made this decision?  A confession.  Lots of times I have wished I had kept my big mouth shut and my fingers off the keyboard.  BUT now a second confession.  Putting these goals “out there” into cyberland has forced me to make better choices for myself in some of my darker moments.  In other words, I’ve behaved better because I knew I would have to confess my setbacks to people who are listening in and hopefully cheering me on.

 March Progress Report

Exercise

This has been consistently the area in which I believe I have made the greatest progress.  Yay me!

  •  I’m working out 5 to 6 days a week.
  •  I love going to my local Curves work out facility.  I enjoy the people there.  I don’t dread it.
  • I’m a morning person and I go first thing in the morning.  When they open I am there.
  •  When they open later in the mid-morning, I’m generally already doing something else.

I have more energy and stamina.  Muscles are slowly appearing.  My body is gradually changing.  My breathing and stamina are much improved.  I feel better all day long every time I exercise.

Weight Loss

This is consistently my most challenging area.

  • Last month I had hit a plateau and since I wasn’t losing I felt myself eating a little more using the thought rationale, “I’m not losing anyway.  What the heck!”
  • Only ten days ago I was still stuck in the same spot.  Because I knew my ‘report date’ loomed, I stopped eating.
  • I’ve cut too far back and I know it.
  • The good news is, I’ve broken through the plateau.
  • The bad news is I know that will shut my metabolism down and I will cease to lose weight.
  • I know that is not optimum.  However, for right now if feels like a relief to breakthrough a plateau.
  • I think I admitted early in my confessions that it is easier for me to not eat, than to eat reasonably. Many overeaters won’t understand that, but that has always been the case with me.
  •  That is a sad commentary, but is probably true of anyone fighting an addiction.
  • I haven’t talk actual pounds, because I don’t want to share that yet.  But someday I will.  The number of pounds I want to lose seems overwhelming to me.
  • One more thing.  Yesterday was my birthday.  I was under control food wise all day.  Then at about 8:00 pm I started feeling sorry for myself that I hadn’t had birthday cake.  Cake is not something I crave.  Even when I have cake it is all about the icing for me.  I wasn’t hungry but I was pretty crazed about cake until after 11:00 pm.  Kept thinking I would go out and buy myself something sweet.  But I resisted it.  It took more effort than I care to admit to not go for a late night run to the store.

Technology Progress

This is an area in which I continue to feel weak.  But I am definitely making strides.

  •  I have completed an ebook with a writing partner.  Every step of the way I have been forced to step up to technology challenges that frightened me.
  • Just this weekend I had to download and edit an epub file.  I had to call for help.  But I was able to mauever through the explanation and complete the task.
  • My internet server also went down yesterday.  I spent hours on the phone trying to get it fixed.  But I did it all by myself.
  • I will soon publish my second ebook.  It will be a valuable book for teachers and future teachers.  I’ve had parts of it in my computer for years, but was frightened of stepping up to the publishing process. My improved (but still limited) understanding of the technology process has helped give me the courage to take that step.
  • My writing partner is encouraging me to understand each step I take using technology instead of just memorizing the steps of the process.  She has me “teach’ my understanding of the steps back to her.  That helps.  We can’t teach something unless we understand it somewhat.
  • We have written this entire ebook living two thousand miles apart.  We’ve used email, conference calls, webinars,dropbox, ebook publishers and much more.
  • Here’s a confession.  In November, when I started writing a blog, I had never even read a single blog post.
  • Now I’m on facebook, write two blogs and am finishing the writing on my second ebook.
  • I give myself a gold star in this category.

Sorry I didn’t post my progress on the last day of the month.  My internet break down was preventing my breakthrough update.  ;)

Mar26

You Can Do It!

Posted on by
You Can Do It!

How to Talk to Teens

you can do itHave you ever tried to talk to an apathetic teen?  I have.  It is sometimes quite maddening.  Once they are feeling down they will put up all kinds of barriers. They seem to dare you to try to make them feel good.

One of their favorite words is, “Whatever.”  It means, “Whatever you say or do doesn’t get through to me. You can talk all you want, but you can’t breakthrough to me.”

It makes you feel like those old Charlie Brown TV shows.  You could see the teacher talking in the background, but all Charlie Brown could hear was,  ”Mwah, mwah, mwah.”  When they are in that ‘whatever’ mode they seem to be deaf to encouragement.

Whatever

whateverBut having taught teens for decades I have my own rules for ‘whatever’.  My rules go like this.

Whatever you do,  don’t stop talking to them.  They may appear deaf, but they are not.  The world has turned them upside down temporarily, and they are reaching for help. When they appear the most deaf, the most uninterested in what you have to say, is exactly the moment they need you the most. 

They can’t let you know your words are helping.  It’s some kind of teen honor code or something.  But don’t be fooled; they need your words. Much later they may be able to tell you how much your words meant to them.  Or maybe not.  But I’ve worked with teens for decades and I am telling you whatever you do, don’t stop talking.  Here is exactly what to say.

“I’ve been thinking about you.”  Tell them specifically when you were thinking about them.  When you were in the car?  While you were grocery shopping?  During a meeting?  Tell them the details about when you were thinking about them.  They need to know that you think about them when you are not with them.  They want to know they matter to you.  It’s true for their parents.  It’s true for their teachers.

Then say, “It seems like something is on your mind.” or “It seems like something is going on in your life.”  “I’ve been noticing you’ve been extra quiet.  I want you to know that I am always here for you.  You can always talk to me about anything.  But if you don’t want to talk about it yet, I respect your privacy.  Just know that I’m here for you.”

Caution.  If they have shared something with you in the past and you have gone cuckoo about it, they won’t share again.  It is always best to under react to keep the lines of communications open.  Teens have told me things that would curl the toes of the devil himself, but no matter how I’m feeling inside I always under react to an initial revelation.  Later when the situation has improved or changed I might let them know how worried or bothered I was for them.  But I NEVER allow my initial shock to show, so they will feel comfortable approaching me in the future.

 Dauna Easley’s Whatevers

Here are my own ‘whatever’ messages I want teens to learn from me.

  • Whatever life hands you, you can handle it.  Life is a roller coaster filled with ups and downs but you are equipped to hang on and triumph.
  • Whatever happens, you are creative enough to respond to it.  If you lose a job, you can find or create a new profession with your talents.
  • If a new opportunity presents itself, you can do it.
  • Whatever challenges come your way you have the perseverance to overcome them.
  • You are strong.  You are talented.  You are capable.  I believe in you.  You can handle WHATEVER comes across your path.
  • I’ve been thinking about you; and I know you can succeed whatever comes your way.